The Feeling Of Specialness
Growing up, my parents always paid an extraordinary amount of attention to me. They vigorously encouraged my interests, causing me to believe that I could be anything I wanted to in life. The affirmation I received from getting good grades in school and being accepted socially further confirmed my feeling that I was, in a way, blessed. Not even the low points in my adolescence aroused any real self-doubt in me, for I felt that despite whatever was happening, I was still very fortunate.
Continue reading "The Feeling Of Specialness" ›The Value Of Active Thinking
The most interesting people I know all have one thing in common - they think about things. While thinking may not sound like a special activity, very few people use their minds actively; instead, they go through life making passive associations, allowing whatever words or images float to the forefront of their minds to convey their thoughts. This tendency to live blurrily, rather than with acuity and awareness, inhibits communication on a large scale in our society. The result is that everyday interaction has become much less meaningful than it could be.
Continue reading "The Value Of Active Thinking" ›Coping With A Fear Of Death
One major trait of Peter Pan Syndromers is a desire to remain eternally youthful. A natural corollary to that characteristic, which I embody perfectly, is a strong fear of death. I am inconsolably afraid of death - so afraid that I cannot even allow it to float around in my mind as I can with other fears. When its dreary countenance comes to the surface of my mind, an instinct kicks in that automatically expels it before it has time to infect my other thoughts.
Continue reading "Coping With A Fear Of Death" ›Returning To Who We Are
Every time we go out in public, we engage in a series of elaborate social scripts so that we can get along with other people. Pleasantries, formalities, and personal space conventions are all examples of automated behaviors that we exhibit because we seek approval from those around us. They are a common ground for us to stand on, a compromise of our natural inclinations for the sake of civility.
Continue reading "Returning To Who We Are" ›Our Quest For Security
Security is the unacknowledged object of all of life’s journeys. Most of us are born with it, owing to the fact that our parents bring us up and care for us; but slowly, at distinct points in our adolescence, that security gets chipped away. The first time we realize that we cannot depend on our parents for money, protection, or encouragement, we lose a piece of our security, and each successive time, we lose a little bit more. Finally, we are forced to fill in the gaps by seeking out our own sources of security. Finding a job, making new friends, and seeking a life partner are quests that we commonly pursue, and all for the single purpose of reassembling the security that once was ours.
Continue reading "Our Quest For Security" ›What’s Wrong With Being “Just Fine”?
One big difference beween children and adults is that the latter often possesses a permanent defense mechanism known as being “fine.” Whenever I hear someone say that they are fine, usually in response to “how are you,” I get a little uncomfortable. “Fine,” to me, is like saying “I’m hanging in there.” It implies that the person is living out of habit, not out of enthusiasm.
Continue reading "What’s Wrong With Being “Just Fine”?" ›What Is Art?
When people speak of art in everyday conversation, they are usually speaking about the art of the upper classes. Art collectors, art history majors, and art museums all partake in a narrowly-defined form of art that has been decided upon by academics and by affluent, white-haired men and women.
Continue reading "What Is Art?" ›My Ideal School
One of my ultimate goals in life is to start a progressive school which focuses on developing a passion for living and self-knowledge in children. Schools nowadays have a rote, one-size-fits-all curriculum, which is conducive to learning for only a small percentage of students. My ideal school would be communication-based, blending aspects of social work, conflict resolution, team building, and traditional learning.
Continue reading "My Ideal School" ›What Is Time?
Time is a metaphor used to express the non-spatial distance between events. What we commonly refer to as time is actually measured time, or time as defined by clocks, daylight, and revolutions of the earth. However, a more satisfying version of time is perceived time, or time as defined by our own minds.
Continue reading "What Is Time?" ›What Is Peter Pan Syndrome?
Peter Pan syndrome is a deep-seated belief that one will never, and must never, grow up. It is named after the legendary character of the same name who lived in Neverland, a place where kids are immune to aging.
Continue reading "What Is Peter Pan Syndrome?" ›Is It Really Necessary To Grow Up?
Children are urged to act like adults from the moment they are conscious enough to do household chores. Many people consider childhood to be an inferior version of adulthood, an awkward younger phase that culminates with “growing up.” In this view, childhood is merely a passing state, a transient period on the way to a finished product, like food cooking in an oven.
Continue reading "Is It Really Necessary To Grow Up?" ›When Does A Child Become An Adult?
People tend to talk about childhood and adulthood like they are completely distinct phases of life. One is supposed to be an early period of growth, where a person undergoes great physical and psychological changes. The other is supposed to be a time when a person goes about achieving his long-term goals, which usually includes working and starting a family. Between childhood and adulthood is adolescence, a time when one’s decisions and experiences determine the type of adult one will become. It is interesting to thing about where exactly in that hazy time of life one officialy becomes an adult. Is it when you get the keys to your first car? Is it when you take your first job? Is it when you finally leave your parent’s home? Does this point even occur during so-called adolesence, or does adulthood actually arrive when you are in your early thirties?
Continue reading "When Does A Child Become An Adult?" ›My Definition Of Childhood
Childhood is a term used to denote a patchwork of memories, fabricated and designed wholly by a single mind, and imbued with a magical wistfulness known as nostalgia. The brain creates childhood by recalling and interpreting its memories, sometimes honestly and sometimes not. It forges childhood with a protective instinct, conforming it to the emotional needs of the individual. Although childhood is not a neat construction, the mind automatically organizes it into a treelike structure, with central themes branching off into events and moments, the smallest of which make up the jagged outer edges of the leaves. Few people truly examine their childhood, but all are guided by it. It is the least tangible, but the most powerful, influence in a person’s life.
Continue reading "My Definition Of Childhood" ›Why Is Childhood Important?
“Our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.” We know nothing of what happened before our birth, and we certainly know nothing of what will happen after we die. Movies, slide shows, and accounts of what life was like in other times are all fascinating to contemplate, but we cannot ever truly know what it is like to exist outside of our lifespan. The only period of time over which we have any influence is our own, and that is why life should be enjoyed as heartily as possible.
Continue reading "Why Is Childhood Important?" ›Timeline Of Sexuality
Here are some of the more important benchmarks of sexuality that occur in childhood. I’ve tried to be as accurate as possible.
Continue reading "Timeline Of Sexuality" ›Understanding Marriage
Coming from a divorced family, I do not have the privilege of being able to take marriage for granted. The expectation many children have of getting married in their twenties, starting a life with their spouse, and growing old together is not as firmly implanted in my mind. Rather, it is a romantic possibility - something I hope to attain. But I also have many questions about it.
Continue reading "Understanding Marriage" ›How Has Romance Changed Since We Were Eleven Years Old?
Romance was a whole lot better when we were eleven. Back then, there was so much more to hope for, so much more to wonder and worry about. In the end, all of the hype basically boiled down to one essential question: whether or not someone liked you. If a girl liked you, you were consumed with elation. You were sparkling with specialness. Liking a girl was exciting and mischievious; it meant you thought she was pretty, that you wanted to kiss her - about as bold a declaration as you could make in sixth grade.
Continue reading "How Has Romance Changed Since We Were Eleven Years Old?" ›Vulnerability In Love
I have wavered on the question of whether true love really exists since the first time I told a girl I loved her nine years ago. Up until recently, I thought love was an elusive feeling, more of an ideal than a reality, something that could be felt in fragments during a beginning-of-relationship fascination but never achieved in the way shown in novels and movies. With all of my long-term girlfriends, I thought I was in love during the relationship, but then questioned the feeling afterwards. I wasn’t able to say with certainty that I had experienced love. In retrospect, I think the “love” I felt in the past was actually a sum of physical attraction, a strong fondness for the girl’s personality, and a desire to be within the security of a relationship. What I have learned is that true love requires one ingredient more powerful than any of those factors: vulnerability.
Continue reading "Vulnerability In Love" ›Being In A Small, Cozy Niche
The feeling of being tucked away in a tiny, remote niche is one of ultimate security. Apart from the coziness factor, knowing that you are in a place where you can’t be found has a certain excitement to it. When I build a house one day, I’d like to have a secret door in one of the walls that leads to my own private lair - a place with the coolness of a treehouse and the secrecy of an underground headquarters. I can’t remember the last time I found an intimate little nook like that, although I can easily picture the recessed rock or hollow oak that I would like to lay in and just think for hours, away from the eyes of the world.
Continue reading "Being In A Small, Cozy Niche" ›Wondering What I Would Do If I Had Three Wishes
“What would you do if you had three wishes?” is an age-old question that dates back to Arabian tales involving genies and magic lamps. The legend allows the master of the lamp any three requests except more wishes. In college, during boring lectures, I used to ponder what I would wish for.
Continue reading "Wondering What I Would Do If I Had Three Wishes" ›Slowly Sinking To The Bottom Of A Swimming Pool
There is a peaceful solitude to submerging in a pool and hanging around at the bottom for a while. Water diffuses sound, so whatever noise is occuring above the surface becomes calmed and muted below. The sensation of floating and the rapid micro-bubbles that flit around your body add to the zen-like experience.
Continue reading "Slowly Sinking To The Bottom Of A Swimming Pool" ›Having A Really, Really Good Dream
A philosopher once wrote “If a pauper were to dream he was a king for half his life, and a king were to dream he was a pauper for half his life, then there would be no difference between the two.”
Continue reading "Having A Really, Really Good Dream" ›Closely Inspecting Crystals Of Sand On The Beach
There is a micro-world to every object, which we seldom notice in the course of our efficient lives. If you look closely at the immediate surroundings of a blade of grass in a field, for instance, you will find a lot more than just other grass: a tiny white mineral deposit, a yellow thread that has peeled off a nearby aging stalk, an industrious ant scaling a three-leaf clover. It is kind of interesting to think that this blade of grass’ entire existence has been ignored by every other person on Earth except for you.
Continue reading "Closely Inspecting Crystals Of Sand On The Beach" ›Rubbing My Feet Together In Bed
Every night as I am lying in bed about to fall asleep, I find myself rubbing my feet together underneath the blankets. The warmth it generates, along with the comfortable sensation of grazing the sensitive bottoms of my feet, creates a lull that sends me off to slumber.
Continue reading "Rubbing My Feet Together In Bed" ›Staring Up At Something That’s Really High
Looking way, way up is enjoyable in much the same way as looking far, far away. It allows you to view things that are larger than yourself in a more conceptual and complete way. Looking up is better than looking far, however, because it requires you to tilt your head back (which is sort of relaxing) and focus your eyes in a direction they typically don’t look. Very high objects also tend to have a majestic, unreachable quality to them due to the fact that they can’t be physically touched. The stars and the tops of skyscrapers are examples.
Continue reading "Staring Up At Something That’s Really High" ›