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What Is Peter Pan Syndrome?

Written by Evan Bailyn on 06/20 at 12:36 PM

Peter Pan syndrome is a deep-seated belief that one will never, and must never, grow up. It is named after the legendary character of the same name who lived in Neverland, a place where kids are immune to aging.

The story of Peter Pan fascinated me as early as five years old, way before I knew what it was like to feel like an adult. I still keep an image in my mind of a particular moment in the play, when Peter Pan flew into the children’s window while they were sleeping and brought them off to Neverland. I think that scene delighted me because I, like other kids, had fears associated with sleeping - probably some combination of darkness, robbers, and dying. The act of sleeping itself is such a mystery to me even now that I can understand why my young mind would see it as fertile ground for something mystical and unknown to happen.

The very idea that one could be saved from the creepiness of sleep, from the powerless grasp of unconsciousness, was not only plausible, it was too wonderful not to believe. In that protected, naive state that characterizes children, I hazily imagined the eternal playground where Peter Pan lived, with its lush flora, children swinging on vines, parties, dancing, laughter, and complete removal from that other dimension known as everyday life.

That picture in my mind is still there. It has been weathered by the army of adults who have politely tried to tear it up with their rules and reminders about “the real world,” but the stubborn five year-old inside of me has resisted. In truth, I don’t believe that we are damned to honest Christian work ethics and middle class toil. I believe that I could be walking through the streets of New York City, turn a corner, and enter a jungle with raging rivers, sparkling waterfalls, and fairies swooping through the sky.

I am in love with childhood and with Neverland. I only wish I could find a way to bring back the vividness of that magical place that I knew best when I was five. If I could re-build Neverland exactly as I remember it, I would - anything to reclaim the hope of living forever as a child.

This is Peter Pan Syndrome. Those who don’t have it are missing something vital. After all, as Peter Pan said, “Fairies only exist if you believe in them.”

88 Comments

Posted by YVETTE on 05/15 at 01:00 AM

I came across this page looking for help for my friend. He has what I believe is Peter Pan Syndrome. He is 36 years olds and refuses to grow up.  Doesn’t work and likes to hang out with guys like himself and young girls in the park until all hours of the night playing baseball!!!  All he wants to do is play baseball and drink beer with his 17yr old fast paced cheerleaders.  He thinks it’s ok to take pictures with these young girls and old men. I was embrassed of them.
Where and when is peter pan syndrome heathly? I trully feel sad for this man. He has a 17yr old girl hang out with her friends and won’t get a real job. Am I judging this man wrongfully? Could that be heathly? I can’t help but call Peter PPan!!!!

Posted by Roxas on 05/16 at 09:37 PM

It’s okay and healthy for him to try to act like he was younger, but the fact that he lacks a job can only mean he hasn’t taken some time to think what kind of job he would like. He may be confused and may not have a job because he doesn’t know what job to look for. What I think is that you can be a Peter Pan AND have a job AT THE SAME TIME; jobs are not supposed to be torture, there has to be a job that suits his likes. I must also point that there’s a BIG gap between being a child (innocent, dreamy, playful and..well...childish) and being an imprudent teen who drinks beer until morning and hangs out with young cheerleaders.
One can be a PP and be wise at the same time. Also what he is doing is wasting time; there’s a big difference between TAKING time to enjoy life (feeling the wind, enjoying the scene, daydreaming, etc)and WASTING time (harming your body with alcohol, acting like a sex addict teen and needlessly concerning your relatives).

Posted by Roxas on 05/16 at 09:42 PM

Oh and being a PP is an awesome way of life. You have the heart of a child, you enjoy life easily, you care only about what’s important (not money, power and sex as most people do), you face and overcome problems easily, you lead a carefree and easy-going way of life and you can believe in things most people refuse to.

Posted by maria on 06/14 at 02:20 PM

o my god i was just reading a post by a girl called caroline,
gosh i feel exactly the same as you i am turning 18 in less than a week now and i am dreading it, see over here in the good old uk being 18 means you are considered an adult,i dont want to be an adult i had the best childhood i could ever ask for i love my parents to death and i love not having responsabiltys but thats all going to change now that im turning 18,the thought of moving out scares me coz i love being with my parents and them looking after me most of the time id rather be with them more than my friends,im at a lost cause at the moment and the way im feeling is realy depressing me i cant stand the thought of being 18

Posted by Another Lost Boy on 06/18 at 02:38 AM

I have the Peter Pan syndrome.  I am twenty nine years of age, and never felt younger, most of my friends are young, I am a big kid myself and constantly make friends.  My friends think it’s funny how I always know someone no matter which state I am in, and how I need to be around people.  I love living life to the fullest, and I love passionately.  When I feel joy, I am loving it, but when I am sad, I am definetely down.  I have the heart of a infant, the body of a man, the mind of an seventy year old and a spirit that never wants to die.  Living with the Peter Pan syndrome attracts people, but what they don’t see if how I feel that people are passing me by in life, and how, though I am quite the learner, I never seem to be able to concentrate.  I often entertain this overwhelming feeling that I want to make everyone happy and sprinkle fairy-dust on them.  I am truly happy with the way life appears through my eyes, and how I really understand that life is about God, love, friendships, and family; and that success is truly subjective.  I asm not sure why as I have gotten older, the child in me is becoming very much more alive...help?

Posted by Roxas on 06/18 at 10:50 PM

You’re getting wiser, that’s why you realize what realy matters in life.
Umm, does anyone know how to be myself always without being unguarded to attacks bad people might...well...attack? I had a hard time during elementary and middle school for being myself, that’s why now I shield myself by faking to be accepted....it has stopped bad people but....it consumes my heart, now Im alone, Ive just got one of my childhood friends left and she’s my best friend but I can’t meet with her because of parent issues T_T (stupid parents). Can anyone help me?

Posted by Eleanor Tyris (alias) on 07/13 at 06:03 PM

hey im 14 and i am sure ive got PPS i cant talk to anyone about it because they all think im weird NOW. i showed my mum some of the comments ive written and she said El-Ty is a mentally instable nutcase who refuses to live in the ‘real world’ (eleanor tyris isnt my real name.)

ive loved Peter Pan since i was 9 and i LOVE the 2003 film! every time i see it i just want to fall into it . . .
i have also read the Peter and the starcatchers book and the shadow theives, arnt they brilliant!!? if you havent read them DOOOOO!!!!

hey i’d love to talk to someone here, you all seem to have stopped writing this month???

Posted by natalie on 07/29 at 08:23 PM

i had no idea that there are people out there who love peter pan and have an extreme dread of growing up as much as i do! after i saw the movie with jeremy sumpter, i was hooked! id have dreams every night and wish so badly that neverland was real!!! id like to kno if nyone else is going thru this or has ever thot this before- u think, honestly believe, that there is truth to all fairy tales. i mean, how can people of just made things like this up, without of having had a magical experience happen to them or sumone close to them? stories that involve magical places like neverland, and enchanted forrests, have been told and retold for years and years. whose to say that the authors of these incredible tales didnt actually go to neverland, or fight off pirates in a magical place? im fifteen years old and never started to think these things until i entered high school. maybe its just a phase im going thru, because im so close to adulthood, but i sure hope that its not just a phase, because i ALWAYS want to believe in magic and neverland and the truth behind fairy tales!!!

Posted by Roxas on 07/30 at 12:18 PM

I also spend my time wondering if magic is real or not. I always wish there was some kind of event that involves me in a magical thing. I’d love to have an adventure/quest/whatever. Hehe, I sound creepy dont I? XD But… that’s so much better than my monotone rutine, it’s better than spending my time making math problems and stupid computer stuff ay school T_T… Besides, if God is real, then magic (MAGIC, not witchcraft, that’s evil) and that stuff could also exist. Did God create only humans? Does he have another creation somewhere else?

Posted by Reddwarf on 08/17 at 08:35 PM

thank god i found this site Im 13 going on 14 and I have peter pan syndrome some consider it a illness I consider it a gift I have daydreams about neverland being a lost boy I know it sounds odd and people say I look 16 but I feel 12 and I do also belive in neverland I was thinking barrie couldve wrote it on his personal experience

Posted by Reddwarf on 08/24 at 03:22 PM

if my mom found out i believed in peter pan she would think my son is crazy but i dont believe that there a blink 182 song called whats my age again in you can hear him say please stay wendy referring to pps

Posted by Money on 08/29 at 04:09 PM

I don’t care what others say!!!!I’m 18 and I should thik like a grown-up!but I can’t!!!! I BELIVE IN PETER PAN!!!!still now writing this I hope Peter will apear!!!! but sadly he apears only in my dreams!!!I don’t wanna forget anything!!!! I belive!!!!I BELIVE IN YOU....PETER PAN!!!!don’t be afraid to admit it!!!:*:*:*

Posted by Roxas on 08/29 at 08:05 PM

I do believe in peter pan, and fairies, and vampires, and magic, and elves, and magical kingdoms, and witches (cute ones with pointy hats, not evil demonic women), and wizards (with cool outfits), and “gifted” humans (like the X-Men XDD), and time machines, and creepy cute creatures (like Digimon and Kirby XDD), and alchemy (both as a magical science and as in FullMetal Alchemist XDD)<---(Im not an otaku, but I did watch it), and ugly biotechnological experiments, and honest polititians, and comprehensive parents, and, and...well you get it XDDDD.

Posted by Reddwarf on 08/30 at 02:19 PM

did you know theres a blink 182 song called whats my age again it talks about pps and he says please stay wendy

Posted by Roxas on 08/30 at 09:44 PM

Really? *looks for lyrics*. Hmmmm I dont really like them… they´re too… simple for my taste *dodges angry blink 182 fans*. I like japanese bands like Sound Horizon, Ive Sound, etc and they play kind of complex music, so Im not used to “common music” (what everyone listens). That´s just another add to my creepy trait list XDD. There´s a song called OutFlow sung by MELL from I´ve Sound. Here are the lyrics:

“Sometimes, love is in your dream.
The dream is part of your journey.
And, we crave to see the end of the universe,
To witness the divine beauty.

I sink into myself
To find something to live for.
And, when we finally reach the destination,
I look down, afraid, but yet do not plummet.

A place to star gaze, it seems closer to heaven.
Ride on the blast wave, and let it blend with your fantasy.
Don’t let them get you down from dream to manifest.
No one ever stop me walking.

Love turns into faith. And, it shines inside of me.
Love leads me to peace. And, it wraps all around me.
I wanna get my own world off the ground.
To touch the sky, to see what I believe in.

I see...the light behind me.
The slight scent wafting on the stench
The darkness covers throughout the plain.
Waxing strong the scent of fear.

A place to star gaze, it seems closer to heaven.
Ride on the blast wave, and let it blend with your fantasy.
Don’t let them get you down from dream to manifest.
No one ever stop me walking.

Love turns into faith. And, it shines inside of me.
Love leads me to peace. And, it wraps all around me.
I wanna get my own world off the ground.
To touch the sky, to see what I believe in.

A place to star gaze, it seems closer to heaven.
Ride on the blast wave, and let it blend with your fantasy.
Don’t let them get you down from dream to manifest.
No one ever stop me walking.

Love turns into faith. And, it shines inside of me.
Love leads me to peace. And, it wraps all around me.
I wanna get my own world off the ground.
To touch the sky, to see what I believe in.”

I really like those lyrics, and I would really like to “take my own world off the ground to touch the sky and see what I believe in.”

Ahem! that was kinda corny, but I still like those lyrics XDD

Posted by Reddwarf on 08/31 at 06:47 PM

one reason why i wanna keep pps is i dont want to lose these dreams and gain hypocrisy like the majority of adults in are society who in my opinion are 9 to 5 puppets having a boring life

Posted by Rokkusasu on 08/31 at 11:56 PM

I think adults, added to all their creepy traits, suffer paranoia. Some time ago my parents separated me from my best friend, who also has pps, because they thought she liked me and, since her mother pushes her a lot about getting married and breed grandsons, she might crack and do something dangerous to me in order to “escape”. I talked with her and we agreed we dont like each other that way. Jeez, I really miss her! shut eye Now we cant see each other because of crazilly paranoic ideas my parents made up in their twisted minds shut eye  shut eye  shut eye

Posted by Reddwarf on 09/03 at 10:14 AM

I agree my parents have paranoid things like they feel that if i leave my neighborhood Im going to steal a car or something when they found out i had pps they were like my son is weird by the way the other day i was walking and amongst the clouds i saw a ship it looked like the jolly roger or since peter pan in scarlet jolly peter looking down at me

Posted by Roxas on 09/03 at 05:17 PM

My parents dont know I have pps ¬¬U. if they did, they would say Im abnormal, freaky, wicked, etc. The other day my dad said that fantasy is wrong because it´s not okay to escape reality. He said I shouldn´t read/think in fantasy that much. My mom supported him saying (supposedly sweetly) “fantasy is not wrong, but why dont you try to read romace or mistery stories?”. I wanted to call forth all my magic and BLAST them to the moon or mars or something!!!... but I chilled down and simply nodded. Fortunately, the reason I was being scolded was different than that, so we simply moved on to other subjects. They still love me and I love them, but why do adults think that everything different to them is wrong? They are so cold. I mean, What´s wrong with escaping reality? It´s not like reality treats us peter pans better than fantasy does… (This words were not inspired by rage or anger. I am not angry or upset. Please dont imagine I was screaming those words in my mind. Im just telling the truth.)

Posted by Reddwarf on 09/05 at 03:06 PM

my parents dont know either but they think im weird anyways by the way i was walking and i saw acloud that looked like the jolly roger or jolly peter amongst the clouds looking down at me but my dad and mom say i shouldnt act weird starting high school but im the guy who just dont care

Posted by Reddwarf on 09/11 at 06:48 PM

if you look at it through my personal view not only is peter pan a fantastic tale but also slightly tragig if you look at it through a certain way

Posted by Reddwarf on 09/11 at 06:49 PM

i mean tragic

Posted by Roxas on 09/13 at 07:44 PM

Can someone give me some advice? I don´t know what exactly am I going to study. Last week I wanted to study Robotics, inspired by a videogame XD. The game is Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. The story of the Chozo and the Elysians is simply awesome. I felt kinda moved T.T. This story says that the Chozo, an alien bird-like race whose combination of wisdom and science had lead them to achieve great goals, arrived to planet Elysia. There, they built a city called Skytown, which was etirely dedicated to research. Thes started having trouble with maintenance and the planet’s fauna, so they built the First, a robot dedicated to maintenance. To assist them better, the Chozo granted the First the greatest gift: self awareness, and so the First shared that gift with all the other robots. That marked year one in the Elysian reckoning. The story goes on and (spoilers for those who are currently playing this game) the Chozo left Skytown and left the Elysians in charge of the station. Some time later, the Elysians had a hard time with fuel supplies, so they enter an idle mode (they call it to sleep) and sent spacial probes to keep the research. The data was sent to them in visions that they called dreams. In one of their dreams they saw the Chozo and their new civilization on planet Tallon IV, and how a huge starborne object filled with a mutagenic matter crashed on the planet corrupting it and making the Chozo seal away that matter and leave the planet after many of them died. Im getting carried away, but the moving part is how the Elysians express the pain they felt to watch their creators die without being able to do anything. That made me feel like studyng robotics and making a futuristic Pinoccio. OK, I accept it, Im creepy and crazy and all, but I think it would be kinda cute to create a “being” and in doing so, helping people (imagine how helpful a robots assistance would be). My dillema is that this week I watched Dr. House and felt like becoming an Infectologist and help people that way. Some weeks ago I felt like studying animation, and I think that maybe I’ll want to study something else next week. Does anyone know how the heck am I supposed to know what to study?! Im too confused shut eye . Maybe I should clone myself or something. I keep praying to God so he tells me what to do, but I should also think carefully what to do, maybe he’ll answer me that way. Advice? Anyone?

Posted by Reddwarf on 09/18 at 03:57 PM

My parents say that I should get involved in after school activitys you know but theres none i like what if there were a pps club how about that

Posted by Roxas on 09/18 at 06:22 PM

That would be really nice… but imagine the damage evil guys may inflict on that club if they got toknow what pps is?! I´d like to get involved in after-school stuff besides my piano lessons and church choir on Wednesdays both, but unfortunately I have my hands full with the after-school work the while-in-school stuff produces. Jeez, Im so tired of this school! Today I had my Data Structure (a.k.a. Progra) exam and I wasn´t able to finish it, just like about other 30 people in my class. No one learns anything because we’re supposed to do research, but how the heck are we supposed to do research if we (well, at least I) hate Programming?! The evil teacher just shows off his programs and then focuses on the two programming prodigies in the class. Jeez!

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