Search

What Is Peter Pan Syndrome?

Written by Evan Bailyn on 06/20 at 12:36 PM

Peter Pan syndrome is a deep-seated belief that one will never, and must never, grow up. It is named after the legendary character of the same name who lived in Neverland, a place where kids are immune to aging.

The story of Peter Pan fascinated me as early as five years old, way before I knew what it was like to feel like an adult. I still keep an image in my mind of a particular moment in the play, when Peter Pan flew into the children’s window while they were sleeping and brought them off to Neverland. I think that scene delighted me because I, like other kids, had fears associated with sleeping - probably some combination of darkness, robbers, and dying. The act of sleeping itself is such a mystery to me even now that I can understand why my young mind would see it as fertile ground for something mystical and unknown to happen.

The very idea that one could be saved from the creepiness of sleep, from the powerless grasp of unconsciousness, was not only plausible, it was too wonderful not to believe. In that protected, naive state that characterizes children, I hazily imagined the eternal playground where Peter Pan lived, with its lush flora, children swinging on vines, parties, dancing, laughter, and complete removal from that other dimension known as everyday life.

That picture in my mind is still there. It has been weathered by the army of adults who have politely tried to tear it up with their rules and reminders about “the real world,” but the stubborn five year-old inside of me has resisted. In truth, I don’t believe that we are damned to honest Christian work ethics and middle class toil. I believe that I could be walking through the streets of New York City, turn a corner, and enter a jungle with raging rivers, sparkling waterfalls, and fairies swooping through the sky.

I am in love with childhood and with Neverland. I only wish I could find a way to bring back the vividness of that magical place that I knew best when I was five. If I could re-build Neverland exactly as I remember it, I would - anything to reclaim the hope of living forever as a child.

This is Peter Pan Syndrome. Those who don’t have it are missing something vital. After all, as Peter Pan said, “Fairies only exist if you believe in them.”

106 Comments

Posted by Alex on 08/22 at 08:52 AM

Hi! I’m 13, 3 months from 14, and loved J.M. Barrie’s original Peter Pan. My old babysitter, now one of my cloeset friends, gave it to me. It came with a Tinkerbell necklace which I never take off! Neither one of us really want to grow up. I was glad to read your comments, especially Whitefang and Rachel, and realize we weren’t the only ones out there! Rachel, my friends, too, think I’m crazy because I have so much Tinkerbell stuff (she’s my favorite)! Just remember, growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional!!

Posted by WhiteFang on 08/22 at 12:54 PM

I can relate Alex! once my brother told me he saw Tinkerbell hovering just outside his window. sounds weird, I know, but I’m pretty sure I saw Peter Pan’s shadow once as he flew past. about a week ago I drew a picture of Sirius, my wolf version of Peter, on my art teacher’s white board and IT’S STILL THERE! Talk about cool.
Whitefang

Posted by Rachel on 09/01 at 06:08 PM

awesome! Hey Alex! This i s a really fun website to be on!! I/m on like every week. I hope you can tell us som eof your dreams as well. I think it’s cool that you draw pictures of your verision of peter. I clearly remember one night my cat kept staring out my window and meowing and when i finally looked i saw a light in the sky ( no not an airplane) and a swift agil shadow lifting up into the sky. Ttyl g2g go football game, byes!

Posted by WhiteFang on 09/03 at 03:55 AM

I’m not surprised, I record my sightings as well. quite recently one of my friends came to my house for a sleepover and told me the next morning that during the night she’d seen a boy hovering outside the window! once I was lying in bed and I heard a boy’s voice - not my brother, I checked later and he was asleep - whispering something in the middle of the night. unfortunately it was too quiet for me to make out what he was saying. and a few days ago I managed the impossible - I drew Peter Pan as a human!!! (doesn’t sound very impressive I know, but usually I can’t draw people to save my life).
By the way Rachel: did you get my message? coz if you replied, I didn’t get yours. I have a bad feeling the school computers don’t accept messages from outside the school.
Whitefang

Posted by Rachel on 09/03 at 08:32 AM

no i never did get your message whitefang, did you send it to book-worm? if you did i’m terribly sorry but i didn’t recieve it. Maybe you should try again. Ttyl going to an air show! byes

Posted by Rachel on 09/03 at 08:33 AM

good job on drawing peter too!

Posted by WhiteFang on 09/24 at 01:07 PM

Hi lost boys & girls!
I’ve re-sent you my message, Rachel, did you get it this time? and did you like the air show? I went to one yesterday, my favourite plane was the Buccaneer (or maybe it’s just the name). the Aladdin play went BRILLIANTLY, my best friend was the Genie and she definitely stole the show!
Bye for now!
PS. if you didn’t get my message, check out this site:
http://www.peterandthestarcatchers.com

Posted by Mark Verba on 10/21 at 01:02 PM

Evan,

Happened to watch Peter Pan last night with my girlffriend of 15 years and her 4 year old grandson.  Our relationship has been tumultuous to say the least as a result of my too-friendly personality especially when it includes the opposite sex.  I gave up making jewelry, the idea of acting in one last film, bars or anywhere people of both sexes gather to socialize. I realized while watching the animated original that I was much like Peter in that I was seeing life one way while others criticized me out of jealousy.

I am torn in my decision to commit to this relationship out of fear that I will one day resent my girlfriend if I resign myself to being who she wants me to be and
“growing up” and committing to this relationship.  Perhaps I am truly in this relationship out of appreciation for her standing by me during my self-destructive days when we first met.

Anyway, I am currently seeking a balance where I can like who I am and continue this relationship or, make the selfish changes in order to be free of the criticism, fear, negativity and self-doubt.  I also have female friends going back 30 years whom I don’t want to lose.

Raised in a children home and foster care, strangers are my family.  Never married, no kids and a variety of traumatic experiences are a part of who I am.  Don’t much care for the idea of hurting someone who cares so much about me nor do I like the idea of betraying her in order to keep in touch with my friends who happen to be female.  Don’t much care for the idea of conforming to her demands and I fear resenting her and our relationship if I make the ultimate commmitment.  Never minded sharing my new found success as I have gotten my life together and grown in that area.  Would I be considered extremely selfish if I chose to break off the relationship?  Alas, I think I am the epitome of Peter Pan Syndrome.

Mark

Posted by Rain on 10/21 at 03:56 PM

guys apart from peter pan you should watch Gabriel Gibbs’ “the snowman”. tell me what you think… m 21, the last time i watched peter pan was when i was 7, m gonna watch it again very soon. but “the snowman” was the film (actually its an animaiton) that made me realize how bad i want to GET OUT. I m lebanese and war just ended. we re pretty much trying to deal with the whole thing + i just got out of a 1year relationship… m relying on MY world to cope with it.

Posted by Kimberly on 10/23 at 12:36 AM

When I first watched the peter pan movie, I always wondered why Peter didn’t want to be with Molly.  I’ve always wondered.

Posted by dave on 11/09 at 08:58 AM

my dad has peter pan syndrome. he really thinks he is peter pan which creeps me out.
a good thing about it tho is that im scared of getting young which, which helps me to age gracefully

Posted by KATRINA on 11/28 at 10:00 AM

I DONT THINK THERE IS ANYTHING ONE WITH BEING A CHILD AT HEART.....WE ALL NEED A LIL ESCAPE AND SOMETHIN TO BELIEVE IN, MY 15 YR OLD KNOWS IM NOTHIN BUT A BIG KID....AND SHES COOL WITH THAT....I STILL WATCH CARTOONS, I STILL EAT RICE CRISPIES W/ BANANAS ON SATURDAY MORNING BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LIKE MY JAZZ AND AM VERY MUCH INTO CULTURAL AND SPIRITUAL EVENTS TAHT HAPPEN IN MY AREA, I THINK THERE IS A HEALTHY BALANCE OF THE TWO, I THINK MORE PEOPLE NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THEIR INNER CHILD LOOSEN UP AND HAVE SOME FUN SOMETIMES......... grin

Posted by tmr on 01/20 at 05:13 PM

snake i dont know what to do....i came across this page and need some advice....my bother is 22 and we always thought he acts like a child....he doesnt work...hes always outside with kids....as if hes a kid....and now hes on trial for rape. i dont believe it.....i read this page and how you describe peter pan syndrome....i seee alll that in him....he needs my mom.....he still lives at the house and he says he’ll never leave.......he also says hes not gulity and i do believe him.....i wish i could tell you more....but its kinda private....i dont want to put it all over the internet....you have email....if you can email me....thanks!

Posted by Tawnya on 01/25 at 03:35 AM

Hello people!i have been reading your posts,they are very interesting.although i am 19,at heart im probably like 5.i remember when i was younger i would always have dreams i was flying..i remember 1 where i was hopping and hopping till i eventually flew..and i could see everything soo vividly and it looked so real..it was like it was real.i also thought that i could fly..like right after you wake up when your dream and reality is a very fine line..i love that!..ive always been obsessed with flying..and ive wanted to be a pilot..im not sure if i will *shrugs* but i always stop to watch planes,birds,helicoptors...ect. anywayspeace ppl..this is kinda fun ill probably re-post later.

Posted by Roxas on 02/02 at 07:17 PM

I totally agree with you all. Im 16(well 17 in fact since my birthday is coming soon) and I feel Im too childish and naive for my age, Im always daydreaming and imagining crazy stuff , I even have some trouble in school because Im not really interested in beind responsible XD, but it doesnt bother me at all, in fact I love to be like this, but...well, I live in Mexico, and here males are supposed to be stubborn, cocky and macho-men (starting since they are kids). Thats a little harsh, because since people usually see me like a kid/freak/immature and they kind of avoid me, which leaves me alone T.T, hehe, people even think my 14 year old brother is more mature than me ¬_¬U. If everyone in the wolrd were like kids there woudnt be any problems (that sounded like something a miss america candidate would say). Well, anyway, this is fun, I should try to post something again rasberry (it feels good to write somwhere else than my logbook/diary/whatchamacallit XD)

Posted by Roxas on 02/02 at 07:26 PM

totally agree with you all. Im 16(well 17 in fact since my birthday is coming soon) and I feel Im too childish and naive for my age, Im always daydreaming,imagining crazy stuff ,I spend my free time watching anime and playing videogames and I even have some trouble in school because Im not really interested in learning useless physics and weird math or having any responsibilities I didnt decided to have XD, I only worry about having fun XD!!! nad it doesnt bother me people callme immature and irresponsible, in fact I love to be like this, but...well, I live in Mexico, and here males are supposed to be stubborn, cocky and macho-men (starting since they are kids). Thats a little harsh, because since people usually see me like a kid/freak/immature ,they kind of try to avoid me, which leaves me alone T.T (hehe people even think my 14 year old brother is more mature than me ¬_¬U). If everyone in the wolrd were like kids there woudnt be any problems (that sounded like something a miss america candidate would say). Well, anyway, this is fun, I should try to post something again, it feels good to write somewhere else than my logbook/diary/whatchamacallit XD.

Posted by Roxas on 02/02 at 07:28 PM

oops O_O|||,Im terribly sorry for the double post T_T

Posted by jiggy jade on 02/09 at 06:18 PM

i realy love this writting peace it is so insparational

Posted by Becky on 03/06 at 02:38 PM

I had no idea anyone else had peter pan syndrome!!! My family makes a joke about it. Im always saying I never want to grow up so they say I have peter pan syndrome! lol cool!

Posted by Doug on 03/22 at 03:27 PM

Hi, great stuff. While I often think of Peter Pan Syndrome as sort of like Joey Gladstone on Full House, continuing to play with toys, wanting to act silly all the time, etc., that’s really the pictgure of someone who had a bad childhood and wants to reclaim what they didn’t have.

Your picture sounds much better, and sounds much like me. I’m not afraid to admit when a client badgered me to be more aggressive and mean I broke down and cried - and this was in another lawyer’s office. I was facing burnout (I’ve since gotten 2/3 of the way to switching careers; I thought law would be nice with helping poeple and all, but I couldn’t make a living doing just wills,a nd now I hate even that), but most of it was that I tried to fit in in a world I’m not a part of, and never have been. The aggressive, dog-eat-dog world of adulthood is just not for me, if that’s what being grown up is about forget it.

Now, I’m going to be a pastor, and you know what? I love it because I’ll be serving God, and His burden is so light compared to others. But, a small part of me loves it because I’ve finally found peace. Not just because Christ took my sins away when He died on the cross and rose from the dead so I could get to Heaven. But because I’ve found something where I can just show the general empathy and concern I did for others, yet without all the politics of adult relationships.

Sure, we’re human, and some churches might have politics a little, but the thing is, Christ says we’re not supposed to; I think heaven is going to be one big, happy place with no pain, no suffering, and no tears, where we can just romp and play and have fun and everything. And, that’s because we’ll be new creatures, made new by Jesus, and we won’t worry about those things that start to come in teen years, like what that other person’s wering or what the other person thinks of us or whether we’ve got pimples. Look at a group of young enough children, and you’ll see, all they care about is they’ve got a potential playmate.

Christ commands us to come to Him with the faith of a small child. I think that special something that it takes to come to Christ is also what gives us the ability to not get into all the pettiness of the “grown up” world.

Posted by Roxas on 03/22 at 10:52 PM

yeah, thanx to God I am still alive, if it wasn’t for him i’d have maybe shot myself already (painful past T.T), he gives me hope to endure this deadly world (my, i hate this world already and im just 17 ¬¬U...). I highly recommend to those who feel lost and rejected by mankind to listen to God, he has great plans for al of us and by the cheapest price, faith is the only thing needed! *end of commercial*hehe ^^U

Posted by Caroline on 04/19 at 06:16 AM

I’m turning 18 tomorow. Most people are happy about that kind of event, because here in france when you’re 18, you’re an adult, wich means that you are responsable but also free from your parent’s authority… But the only thing I can see is that I’m not a child anymore I’m not even a teenager anymore, I’m a grown-up and I feel nothing like a grown-up. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I’m scared to death about going to university, fiding a job, getting my driver’s license, because I don’t want to do all these things. many people do feel a little nostalgic about their childhood, but what I feel is that the whole world, my whole life is a game, a dream, a fairytale, i dont want to believe that’s not true. I sincerly want to believe in Neverland because to me that’s what life should be like.I don’t want to be like everyone else, I dont want to follow the path. It’s true that being this way as you guys say is a good thing because it means keeping some inocense, some magic that most people loose, but it’s also quite difficult when u just have to deal with the “real world” or should i say “ the built up world”

Posted by Roxas on 04/19 at 08:45 PM

I fell the same way. Im 17, I´ve only got a year left...but what I think is that being 18 doesnt make you an adult, it´s just what adults want to make you think. It´s an awful burden ¬¬. Even if you are 18 you can be a child on the inside, that’s what matters. As someone said before, you cant help growing old, but growing up is optional. Cheer up. Besides, if you can’t stand this artificial world, you can always go to your world (warning: avoid drugs ¬¬). At least here in Mexico we are “allowed” to live with our parents even after 18, college is like high school, just harder. Anyway, remember, you dont need to act as artificial as most humans, you can retain your innocence as long as you want. (Hint: at least choose a career you really love or you might regret it. And if you dont know what carrer to choose you can simply cry like a baby, just like I do XD).

Posted by twirly on 05/06 at 04:50 AM

Hi
Great website
I’m 22 year old girl and i dont like being an adult,are there more people like me? I really need to talk about that,its killing me when i hear i look my age or when people think i’m older.
I have looked on the internet for forums about the Peter pan syndrome but havent found a propper one. can anyone tell me were?
contact me those who know or people who want to talk smile

Posted by Roxas on 05/07 at 08:37 PM

If anyone would like to talk about umm...anything with me my email is , add me so we can chat via messenger. That’s a good way to support each other ;D

Page 2 of 5

Post a Comment


Smileys
Options: