I really like this one guy, but my three best guy friends who i sit with at lunch what should i do?!

i have a huge crush on my boss - since the day i met him and the more time i spend working here the worse it gets - i admire and look up to him.  The thing is he is happily married and has kids oh and of course hes the boss and i love my job.  I respect the fact that he has a family and i would never do anything to jeopodise my career, but if these obstacles were not in the way i would definately do something about it.  I have started fantasising about sleeping with him and after it makes me sad as i know this will never happen - crazy huh!  I sound like a bunny boiler - which is not me i am a very secure confident and happy person, who normally has any boy i want - so this is v.difficult!  Although it makes work more interesting!

Yea… the guy I had that HUGE crush on..... has a gf… I was soo sad when I found out..:(

I love the wrong type of guys.  i like personalities of real people, i put their persona on a high shelf.  i make it look like they are so right with everything...i think i just need someone who REALLY loves me truthfully without me having to convince myself otherwise.  i may admit i’m afraid of love because it hurts so bad when it goes sour.  i like my ex boyfriend still… he said he’s trying to talk to someone, yet still wants to be my friend. i told him i dont think i could deal with that.

I’m going through withdrawls, I found the girl’s school email address and sent her a e-card, but what are the chances of her checking her school email. It’s finals this week and I’m afraid that when we go back next month I won’t feel the same, but I’ll just look at it this way if it’s meant to be then it would be. I wish I wasn’t such a loser and I promise myself this is the last crush for me it hurts so bad when I punk out. Why did she have to be so hot and why am I so scary.

I have a huge crush on my co-worker. It is an impossible situation because he is engaged. He flirts with me constantly and I of course love the attention. At first it was fun but now it makes me want to cry. With most crushes there is that possibility they may like you back, but because he is in a relationship that possibility is gone. I feel though that he may like me as well. Things he says and the way he acts confuse me. I hate crushes. I am 27 and feel so immature for letting a guy make me cry and have control of my heart.

I have a HUGE crush on this guy...I am a grown-ass woman, and I feel like im back in the 5th grade...lol!! He and I worked together overseas for about 6 weeks...we’ve been back in our hometown for over two weeks now, I havent heard from him - even though he said he’d keep in touch...I dont know what to do, all i do is think about him all day, every day. He’s a musician; he has a performance coming up in a couple days. I want to go see him, but im afraid i’ll embarrass myself. Whenever he’s around, its like my mind goes COMPLETELY blank. I feel so crazy! He is so beautiful, bidy and spirit. what should i do about this?

I think with crushes, we constantly second guess ourselves. The possibility that crushes do not reciprocate may completely shatter our hopes, our goal, our dreams. Experiencing crushes that results in heartbreaking situations, I realise that there is nothing much we can do. If fate allows us to bond, we will; just let things happen. Yet, someone has to take the initiative to discover the truth, and to open up the mysteries that has been bothersome, instead of moaning and wondering how the other feels. Of course, we do not want to face the possibility of a rejection, but on the other hand, we would never know where the opposite person and you stand. If we wait too long to find out, opportunities may have been dried in the desert, and when we miss our chances, we regret even more. I think about my own problems deeply everyday, I read stories other’s stories here of all different ages and I find one common ground with us all. I think crushes occur to us in every stage of our lives, and I believe that it’s not a fifth grade feeling or occurrence. It’s a simple human nature response to those who we feel particularly close with, or those who we click well, or those who we ponder what life would be like if the life of the opposite is shared with you. We all want to be protected, and especially, feel like we’re with the most amazing person on the earth, which happens to be the person we have a crush on. Whether crushes bring us excitement, security, or warmth, the wonderful feeling of “having a crush” may disappear if the hidden treasures are discovered.
I think there is one question we all have to answer within ourselves, through deep thoughts and analysis of our goals. Do we simply want to remain in the “crushed” state and have fun? Life will be completely different if we find out the feeling of the other. Or do we want to move further, and create a new pathway of life, to share our experiences with the other? When we flirt with each other, or gaze in to each other’s eyes, we subconsciously make each other feel special, in a way, it’s simply saying that we receive or want attention from the person who we adore, or attracted to. And this makes us feel good. But when the honeymoon stages of a relationship is over, will we then realise that the relationship is purely superficial and based on initial attractions? Looking at this perspective, do crushes only develop in to shallow relationships? I don’t know. After the attraction stages of a relationship is over, does the crush feeling fade away as well?
Well my crush situation is very complex, and these are just the thoughts that have been running through my head. I think ultimately, we all want to find out how the other feels for us, but the final question is, what do we do after we find out? Where does the future lie? Anyhow, I am glad that everyone is sharing with each other, becuase I notice many things that I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise.
Thank you Evan, once again, for writing such a deep thinking piece of writing, leaving us to ponder and reflect upon ourselves. You have reached inside of us, and let us analyse further in our limited horizons.

Man, that was deep, but I can say when I look at my crush I can see a future with her. This is a first for me I could actually see us raising a family together, I can see me taking crap off of her as long as she’s willing to not sleep around and be as she’s honest. The thing is with my crush I knew she was intrested in me but like other post said “what happen when the dream becomes reality”. The fact that other people were very intrest in her as well and hating on my every move made it worst. If I see her again and she’s still intrested I’m going to make the dream an reality. If not woulda coulda definitly shoulda.

Cowardly Lion, you sound like a very heartful person that believes in the good of things. 

Being friends with your ex is definitely hard when you still like them so much.  I’d rather not even be friends...is that wrong?

There’s this girl I met some time ago...the most amazing girl I’ve ever met, seen or heard of! But...she is completely unattainable. She is the kind of person when you are around her you just want to smile and stare at her for hours. Everything about her is so easy to love that I’m sure half of her friends are in love with her, and beleive me, she has tons and tons of friends...So how exactly do I stand a chance? I’m just another face in the crowd, actually, I’m not sure I’m even in that crowd...It sucks..really.
They say “let things happen by themselves” but I’m not sure I can beleive that…
I hate to complain, as I know there are millions who wish they were in my position, I mean, I have family, friends, a home, I go to college, I can afford few small things...How can I possibly be asking for more? How incredibly egoistic would it be to not be satisfied with everything I already have? Am I asking fr that much? I don’t know...maybe I am, but I know that I would give up anything in a heartbeat just to have a chance with this woman. I can’t stop thinking about her even though I tried, I really did. It gets worst with every day and week. Sometimes I wish I never met her...But it’s alright I guess...I’m not complaining, just saying random thoughts...I hate to complain, sorry.

tool,
This comment box has been more of a complaint box than anything. We know others who admire the writing pieces of Evan, will probably read these comments, and we don’t know who else to tell or where else to clear up the situation of our personal lives. That’s why we all write our problems down here, knowing that people will read them sometime later or another.
I want to say, that my situation has many similarities with yours. I’ve met a girl, who is seemingly the most amazing person I’ve met. Every mutual guy friend that we share, they would all pull out their best flirtation skills to attract her attention. I feel as though many times I’m out of the league as well. Yet, when my dreams never come true, perhaps out of my own denial, I squeeze out all the bad qualities of her to make myself believe that she’s not the amazing person who i always believe her to be. Yet, I find that in most crushes, our heated emotions for the opposite blind us from the negative sides. Never, is it easy to shine ourselves as the white knight in front of the other hot candidates, but in the end, if you be yourself, and grab her attention with the little daily gestures, one day, I think she’ll be curious enough to try and know you. Make the first step, and she should respond eventually. Unfortunately, if we want to achieve some of our unattainable dreams, we must find a way to translate the unreachable to palpable by stepping out of our comfort zones. Take the initiative, stand out in your own way, and nature will work things out. I wish you all the best.

Well Desong, I never become friends with an ex that’s not my thing. I mean if something happen that was bad enough for us to break up then let break all ties. You said I see the good in things I wish i really did because the negitives is what keep me away. The good things is the crush and I know reality is a lot harder to deal with. I’m a loser is what it all boils down too.

Man,
It’s funny because I did that too (try to squeeze out all the bad qualities of her like you say). It’s ridiculous how little I came up with...And even these small details (that I couldn’t care less about anyway) pale in comparison with everything else she is. I just can’t believe how amazing she is, seriously...she completely blows my mind. I know it sounds lame, but it’s true.
The other day, she threw me one of those smiles...I almost fell off my chair!...Why does she have to be so hot? I like to act like a don’t care and all, but on the inside I’m goign to explode! There is no girl that ever made me feel anything close to this one. None of the others could ever compare. Sometimes I just can’t stop staring at her and thinking: dude, I don’t think I even deserve her,..look at her, she’s a freakin godess nothing less!
But, like I said, everyone is attracted to her, she’s like a magnet. You can’t possibly dislike her, it’s impossible...She is literally glowing. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.
And then, there me...I’m not the brightest, strongest, prettiest or the coolest guy around, I know I’m not, in fact I don’t think I have anything special, I’m just a normal dude. I’m totally fine with that, it’s just that sometimes I wonder...If she had the choice (and she does) how can she choose me?...
Anyway, I don’t care, I’m done.
I wish you all the best too, to you, to Cowardly Lion and everyone else. Thanks.

Well, I’m still running away from my crush, i’ve had a crush on him since 7th grade(were in 9th grade now), and whenever i c him i RUN AWAY cuz i’m so embarrassed and he knos that i like him and i think fate is giving me so many signs cuz everytime i turn around hes right there and whenever i hear his name i blush and when i c him my heart skips a beat! I get the feelin he likes me too, and is shy just like me becuz when he passed me in the hall one day he jus looked at me and smiled and he looks back whenever he sees me, i kno one of us should speak, but i think were both real shy to tell the other, its confusing,lol!!

This is for Andrea… I felt sad for you when I read your e-mail. I hope you are feeling better. Keep your chin up.

This is for Andrea… I felt sad for you when I read your e-mail. I hope you are feeling better.

cowardly lion, you are not a loser. if you’re a loser then we all are, because we’re all writing the same stuff! : )

Thanks heartsick, and we all are saying similar things but I just feel like I could have done more and I just let her slip away because I knew I was terrified to say what I felt and I would have placed all my eggs in one basket. The closer I get to Jan 8, I really wonder if someone like her would still be single I mean it will only be two months by then since the last time I seen her, but if what If what she felt was real then she’ll still be intrested if not then I’m sure I’ll find someone else, but she will be no her.
Thanks to all you guys for the good reads and now I know I’m not the only one that feels what I feel.

I have a tremendous crush on someone who came to do work at my house.  The second I saw him walk through my kitchen our eyes met, my heart started racing and my stomach flipped.  I think I saw something in his eyes too.  He installed new thermostats and when he was teaching me how to program them I had to stand right next to him.  I literally was blinded.  I could not see the numbers on the thermostat.  He thought it was the lighting, but it was him.  There was a lot of tension there.  His hand was shaking as he held down the light button on the thermostat to try and help me see.  The whole day I fell more and more in love with him.  At the end of the day he asked me for my business card because he said he would not be with that crew the next time they came back.  He was going to call me for some Real Estate advice.  He told me he would email me.  It was the day before Thanksgiving and the entire holiday weekend I checked my email all the time and he never emailed me.  When the work crew came back the following Monday, he was with them again.  I was elated!  He was working at my house for a week.  Every day I had a grin all over my face.  I followed him around like a puppy dog.  I don’t think he minded.  We could talk away and he teased me a lot and we had lots of laughs.  Since the work was done (it has been about three weeks) we have kept in touch.  He emails and calls me on the phone.  I think he knows I am interested, but I am sure he has no idea what a extremely major crush I really have.  It is so confusing.  On three occasions he has asked me where I am going to be (like which bar) and said he might come there to see me.  He doesn’t show up, he stays with his friends at their bar and then he drunk dials me.  I have drunk dialed him and he thought it was “cute” and said he liked it.  I can’t tell where this is going and it is driving me crazy.  How long should I give him before I give up?  Should I plainly ask him how he feels?  I am scared of pushing him too much and then the crush would have to end.  Is is too early to push things?  I am addicted to the high of this crush.  I love the feeling when I see his name on caller id and my heart races.  It has been years since I had a crush like this.  I feel alive!  I feel passion rushing through me.  I want to say to him “I WANT YOU!  I AM CRAZY FOR YOU!”.  I am afraid of the rejection, though.  Is he leading me on, playing with me?  Or is he moving at his own pace?  How can I tell?  Any words of wisdom greatly appreciated!

*sighs*my crushes never know they like me because im too shy…
even if i try some whore steals him.T_T
i get too afraid to tell him
the worse part is that losers like me
thats why im much of a heartbreaker to losers.it’ll ruin my popularity seriously
im looking for a perfect guy
all the girls at my school already have a boyfriend.
god i feel so dumb
AND I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A LOSER BF!
thier looks and wardrobe want to make me throw up seriously!

but...sometimes...i think IM the loser
also my body image is terrible…
no wonder i dont have a bf
i have nightmares of being single for the rest of my life!
i hate being single…

GRRRR I WISH I HAVE THE COURAGE TO WALK UP TO HIM AND SAY ‘IM GOING CRAZY FOR YOU SO MUCH I COULD DIE 4 U!’
but im too shy.:(
also my parents expect me to have a hispanic bf
yeah he’s hispanic but he has another race that my parents hate!
i guess i have to like some1 else…
also when i like the perfect guy i find out he’s taken and I get heartbroken as hell!
heck even my grades r going down the drain because I cant stop thinking about him!
AAAAHHH stupid love!

Also I fear that in the future when i go to a high school prom ill end up drinking punch sitting alone watching all the cute couples slow dancing in my new dress!*cries*

Oh my goddess, I hate going through crushes.  The insecurity, unsureness, the euphoria, it just messes me up so bad, but it’s worth it you know?  Like the guy I like, he is in 4 of my classes.  He’s so oblivious though He’s on the soccer team, two of my friends and I go to his games.  He’s on the football team, my friend and I went to 5 of his games.  He’s on the track team with me and Academic Decathlon with me, he’s everywhere...and I couldn’t function without him...not well at least.