Hello, I am Monica…I’ve had plenty of CRUSHES, I feel that the worst part of having a crush is the feeling of rejection if they don’t like you back. I totally agree with this passage, and I am sorry about that incident “Heartbroken”, currently I like a guy…my best friend likes him too…yet I know I’m not the prettiest girl in school…but a big flirt—I am ;] Not sure what to do. Thanks =)

I agree 100% with ‘heartsick’. Where does one’s confidence go? You can be an outgoing person who takes to the most random strangers but when you’re around that crush you can just go completely BLANK.  You just lose yourself and try everything you can to impress them, which I totally HATE when I do that. I act like a total idiot around him and I try to stop myself before I completely embarress myself. All I can offer for advice is to try to stay true to yourself when you have a crush on a guy and not try to change anything about yourself, if he is going to like you back it should be for who you are, not for someone you’re pretending to be.

Oi,I’m a complete idiot around my crushes.

I think people get crushes on those they know deep down are unobtainable e.g Both are married to other people. They also happen when they meet people fleetingly and so don’t get the chance to talk to them properly and develop a friendship. e.g. it’s rare to get a crush on someone you sit next to and chat to at work?

Check this out. I sit next ot a girl (24) at work whos getting married. I AM MARRIED!! but cant stop thinking about this person in every thought in my mind. When i see her i know im not dumb struck by her and can cope socially. We get on well, go to lunch sometimes and even text and talk outside work. Trouble is now i cant sleep (35 mins one night) and have lost two stone in weight. What the f**k is going on? Can any one help? Is there a cure for this madness????? Thanks for listening.

Im 12 years old. I had my first crush b4 school was out. I still like her this very day, and I was going to ask her out today. I was about to tell her I like her,but i was almost late for class and I froze so ill try to find the courage to tell her one day

Good luck DJ!  We’re rooting for you.  Let us know what happens.

Thank you Carm & girl next door. I think Carm is absolutely right saying be true to yourself and don’t change anything about yourself. They should like you for who you are. Girl next door we should remember that.

It makes me realize you just have to believe in yourself. Obviously after reading everyone’s entries on crushes, everyone is pretty much reduced to a bag of nerves. Must be some leftover physiological response from the stone ages.

Dave—I feel sorry for you! That is not a good situation to be in, with the marital/pre-marital ties. And losing sleep and weight means you need a good slap in the face. Snap out of it boy! I’ve lost sleep over my crush too, and that’s not cool! And if you’re sleep deprived, your emotions are going to be a wreck. Go see a doctor if it gets worse because you cannot think straight when you don’t get sleep.

Many of my girlfriends are married and one thing that is true even though you are married to someone is that you still have attractions to other people—that is human nature. However it sounds like you’re losing your sense of power. Don’t let it happen!!! In crushes you do get carried away in your thoughts about that person and blow them up larger than life. I know I should be taking my own advice here.

Sounds like you need to come back down to earth and ground yourself. As hard as it may sound, remind yourself you’re just letting yourself get too carried away about this girl. Re-read all of our entries and realize we all experience the same thing. Maybe you you should cut down one form of contact with her—hard because you sit next to her. Can you sit somewhere else?

And don’t forget you’re married. And I can tell you’re freaked about that, which is good. At least you’re trying to get help here! Maybe you should take your wife out on a romantic date or get out and do something fun! Sounds like you’re not spending too much time with her. The last thing I want to do is make assumptions and judge you because I don’t know you personally. Because what you feel is natural. But my sister’s husband cheated on her and it really hurt her. They have 3 kids and they went through therapy and they are making it work. Everyone, EVERYONE, tells me relationships and marriages are WORK, no matter how old you are.

I am not a psychologist, but if your marriage is in trouble maybe look into joint therapy or go on your own. Sorry to sound so preachy but it sounds like you really need some sort of feedback. Or go out with your guy friends and have a few beers!

Remember if you worked somewhere else, you’d probably develop some sort of crush on someone else. Someone’s entry said we are attracted to what is unobtainable. That person is totally right and it sounds like that is what you are attracted to—a girl that you cannot have!

Good luck and remember—you have the power to draw the boundary lines!!!! Don’t lose yourself and keep your feet on the ground! Remind yourself that you are not alone but also remember that you have the ability beat the odds of working on your marriage! Good luck and don’t lose hope!

I’m embarrassed i wrote so much; i previewed it first and deleted a bunch of stuff and it all POSTED!

Sorry everyone! I got carried away!

heartsick, you described exactly what I am going through…You literally put words on my feelings.
There’s this girl I met few months ago, at first nothing really happened, I though she was cute, not supermodel, just cute nothing more, like the dozens of girls I see in the metro or in the street everyday. We talked few times here and there and at 1st everything was fine. I was the happiest guy on earth, I was confident, I had goals, objectives, projects. I though I could do anything, I had friends, a great family. I couldn’t be happier.
But then something happened…We had to work late and we spent the entire evening together. And from that freakin moment I just can’t get her out of my head! It’s been going on for more than 5 months now. I can’t stop thinking about her for more than 2 minutes. I dream about her. It’s really hard to describe as it never happened to me before. I mean, I liked few girls before, but nothing like this time.
Sometimes it just pisses me off, and I get mad at her for what she’s done to me and at myself for the way she makes me feel. I am not confident as I used to be. I’m not interrested in anything anymore, I constantly start fights with my brother and my mom, the list goes on and on…
But as soon as I see her, I melt, I can’t be mad at her, she’s so beautiful, so sweet. When she talks to me, it’s like music to my ears.
The funny thing is, I don’t know her that much, but I can’t stop thinking that she’s the one for me. I know it’s stupid, and cliché and it drives me crazy.
But at the same time, she’s weird sometimes…One day she says things to me, it’s almost as she is flirting with me. And the next day she barely even looks in my direction. I don’t understand…Usually I’m good at judging people (by judging I mean, knowing what their personalities are like, more or less), but this girl…I have no idea what she wants.
I’m not the kind of person that talks much, I don’t like beeing the center of attention, usually I’m in the ‘background’ and when she talks to her friends (espacially other guys…) I just sit there and stare at her, and don’t really know what to do.
Sometimes I want to tell her all of this, but the just thinking that my feeling for her might not be reciprocate scares me to death and I back off. At least not knowing gives me an illision of hope. But at the same time, by not knowing I’m kind of stuck between ‘beeing with her’ and ‘try to forget her’ (if that`s even possible…) so I’m here floating around and nothing seems to happen…and it just sucks.
I know it’s totally stupid, but that’s the way it is, and I can’t help it…
Sorry for such a long and boring story, but I read everysingle one of yours so read mine too

I’m wondering though…Is that even possible for your crush to have a crush on you? Does that ever happends? I hope it does.

I have developed a huge crush at work. At first I only noticed him because he was noticing me. Then over the next few days he’d always stop to chat or say hello whenever we crossed paths, in a way that I thought he was interested. But as I have never had a crush that has turned out good, he of course has a girlfriend who was actually hired at my work. Now I have to see them together, which is just about all the time. It makes me depressed as hell, because he actually gave me hope that this one was going to turn into something great.

ok I have a crush on a guy who I once hated but this year we argue a lot and he talks bad about me but im trying to get over him and i still dont know what to do I feel like i like him but then when he talks bad about me i get mad and start thinking he aint worth it. I need to get over him.Please somebody help me.

Unknown, that it totally how I feel about my crush. I get mad at my crush internally and he’s done nothing to me. It’s just me mad at myself for self-destructing every time he’s around. It’s agonizing and it totally sucks. He sneaks into my dreams too. And I want to forget him too. Yours is 5 months. Mine is 1 year and 1/2. Maybe longer than that. I’ve lost track. I am trying to get a different job for many reasons but one is because I want to get away from my crush so I can focus my mind on other things!!!!! Anyway, glad I’m not the only one who feels obsessed like that. It totally totally sucks. I don’t know what to tell you because I feel the same way. Why do we get so fricking crazy about people!?! Make the madness stop!!!! 

heartsick, wow…it’s funny how we are going through the same kind of thing…Just knowing I’m not alone makes it a bit easier, a tiny bit should I say. I’m siting here smiling like an idiot and I don’t know why. That hasn’t happened to me for some time now, so thank you for that!

DJ…I agree with Evan. Let us know what happens. I drive School Bus and listen to kids talk. They talk about crushes on other kids and teachers too. I suggest you give it a try and experience the feeling because it’s going to happen eventually. At least you are aware of that by reading about what others go through, and you are not alone in those feelings. We all have the freedom to make a choice, be it good or bad, and from that choice there is an outcome and a learning. Maybe make a plan on how you are going to handle those feelings no matter what the outcome is because as Evan says in his first posting: “Having a crush is one of our original human impulses” and therefore it is normal and your feelings will be normal. But most importantly have fun!

I have had a crush on a guy on team that I am associatd with for two years now and I used to talk to him quite a bit. At the end of last year we kind of drifted apart and didn’t talk much. This year, he is always saying “hi” to me and asking me how things are going. I think he thinks I am a jerk because I don’t say much, but I am really just shy. How do I figure this guy out?
Last year I figured out that he had a girlfriend. I don’t know if he still has one this year. I have this feeling that he likes me; but at the same time, I think he might just talk to me beacuse he thinks I am pathetic. Once he offered to let me barrow his pillow on the bus ride home from a meet and another time, this other guy asked me what I thought of him (the guy I like) and of course, I lied. Last year I got over him, but now all the fellings I had for him are back—stronger than ever! I wish I could just tell him how I feel but I am so afraid that he still has a girlfriend—or worse—thinks I AM pathetic and totaly rejects me!

first time seeing my crush is like I don’t have consintration in my studies and anything

I have a crush on a boy who I think likes me   but he told a girl who also has a crush on him that he doesn’t like me but he doesn’t like her either because i asked to but he is always firlting with me and she is still flirting with him and i makes me so mad what should I do?? 

Everbody up there has described.

Except have you ever heard of a girl liking a guy who’s 8 yrs older than her?

Grrrr….........

And how many of you try to avoid your crush(I try to)?

* described it for me **Edited

i hear ya’ll. i got this crush on this guy, he’s really funny. and its true, you can get a crush just like that… anytime, anyplace. i dont want to get hurt, but you know, you cant help getting crushes.

yes yes crushes. gd old crushes. im 17 but dont really wanna grow up. Crushes is a thing you first get in childhood and for the rest of your life. Sometimes hopefully these crushes work out and turn into being In Love.  But only sometimes. But when it does happen it’s the best. That is why it is so rare

There’s this guy I like, and whenever I see him he brushes against me and looks my way!  Its kind of a new thing for me, but I enjoy it. david natte

I have this crush on this guy at school and my best friend Jessica used to be best friends with him, now i like him and she thinks im crazy but im not. I really like him, but im too shy to even say hi! He is also shy and really nice! Jessica told me to add him on msn and i wasnt but then I just did! Now hes gonna she that I added him! I dont know what to do!