thanks alwayscrushed. And thanks for not telling me that he just not interested in me, because altho that might be true, i am not up for hearing it right now and nice to know there might be other reasons he might not have called. Things are getting a little easier (take note, all of you, it does get easier once they are either gone or confronted and you kind of know the truth)but I still check the door every day, hoping he will come back . Wonder what he thought of my note. Yeah, its a power thing alright,... he has it and I don’t. Life does not turn out how you expect so based on that, I hope he starts coming after me !(yeah, right) thnaks to all of you in advance for responses and advice to me.  AG

I take back what i said about not liking anyone’s answers. I guess I just don’t want to face the fact that he does not like me and that fact seems loud and clear and i don’t want to hear it. I hate having a crush. everytime i think about him , it hurts. No one else will do. counting on time to make me feel better and change things around a bit. I am never having a crush again, ever again, I am not going down that painful path again. Let him come after me, if he realy wants me.

AG… you are the power and authority in your life. You can’t give away your power, you just think you have. Checking the door each day is “residual crush matter” that will dissipate with time. You will have another crush, and another, and another.  Read the past posts. It’s inevitable. You will find “Mr. Right” and still have crushes. IT’S O.K., just go with the flow, relax, and tell the world to “BRING IT ON!!”
(BTW, if he left his route, how the hell did you get him the note???? - gotta know, don’t leave me hanging here) Alwayscrushed.

Alwayscrushed, you are wise after all your crushes. See, from pain comes wisdom. Well, crushes give you courage and creativity and balls like you thought you would never have. when the new guy came in for the first time at 11.15am on a monday morning when “my"guy usually comes in (they have the same uniform and truck so i knew it was his work buddy)I actually said to the new guy “Excuse me, who the fuck are you?”..no just kidding , I said, “Excuse me, what happened to the person who usually does this route?” and he said “we changed routes and he is not doing this route any more”. Just like that. “My” guy had been doing this exact same route at the exact same time every day for the past 7 months so to say my world fell out from the bottom that day was putting it mildly. So i got to thinking, “why, I’ll send him a note” the next time i saw his buddy, I asked him, extremely politely and nicely if he would not mind giving the note (in a sealed enevlope)to the guy who used to do the route, and he said he would. and the next time he saw me he said he gave it to him.So thats he how i gave him the note. I thought it was brilliant. You got to go after yur dreams, you have to take risks and although i feel lkie a fool cos he did not reply, I am still glad i did it. I don’t usually send notes to people I don’y know thru people i don’t know ..huge leap of faith....AG

I am now 11.. I have this really big crush.. but its equal on 2 people.. ones my friend’s crush..and ones this girl in fourth grade.. I want them to know that I like them, but i dont want to get rejected.. someone help../

.... I am planning to wait until 7th grade to ask the 4th grade girl to the school dance..(shell be in sixth) ( my current school doesnt have dances).. but im afraid shell like someone else by then, or she wont go to the same school.. what should i do..?

oh my gosh, i sooo totally know what you mean!!!! i have a HUGE crush on this totally hot guy at school, he’s like soooo cute! his name’s julian and he’s like a bit older than me, but hey who cares?! this is like so weird coz he was peter pan in a school play like 3 years ago (yes ive really liked him for like 3 years!!!) but every time i see him i go like this horrible red color, and i go all shuddery and its like sooooooooo embarassing!!!! my friends say i should just like ask him out or something, but i’m so nervous, i don’t know what to say!!!

Hi guys,
I’ve read almost all of your stories here, and mine is no different. As always it starts with a girl, and end with my heart beeing in pieces.
Where to begin..?
Well, I’ve met her a little over a year now. She’s the most amazing person I ever knew. She’s beautiful, smart, sweet...she’s perfect. We have (or had, I’m not really sure anymore) this great thing going (minus sex), but I want more...The problem is, she’s not interested in me, and she’s with someone else anyway. And even if she wasn’t, there are tons of guys after her, so I don’t stand a chance in any case. I wish I could tell her that I have feelings for her, but we all know what that means...I’ll never ever see her again, and I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it. But it’s been a week she doesn’t even talk to me, so not like it would make much of a difference.
Everytime I see her and just how beautiful she is, and think that someone has her I’m going nutts! I have no idea what to do. I’m just tired of this whole mess.
Sorry if this sounds like a huge whine, I’m a little drunk and...heartbroken. Just ignore me.
I’m out.

drunk dude, you sound very nice yourself..listen, don’t give up hope on this girl and remember, things never turn out how you expect. One day she might be chasing you ! Girls like it when guys admire and smile at them and we gals need a little encouragement that a guy likes us and we know it before we agree to dates etc. I would never talk to a guy if I did not think he was into me..who needs that rejection shit? So keep being yourself and talk to her....sorry, i know you did not ask for advice but my heart is broken too (see my sad story above)and now I like giving advice ..best of luck..

adventuregirl,
Holy shit did I wrote that?! I think I lied, I wasn’t ‘a little drunk’
Anyway, thanks for your response and your advice .
“One day she might be chasing you” hahaha, I can only wish!
Like I said, we have this great thing going, at times I think she’s flirting with me. I say to her that she’s beautiful and she laughs. I give her all kinds of nicknames and she laughs. But everybody does that with her...she gets stopped on the street by complete strangers and they say she’s the prettiest thing they ever saw. You get the picture...At my school there’s this lame tradition, at Valentine’s day you can buy a rose and say to whom you want it delivered and some dude gets it to the girl during one of her classes...well, guess who got a whole bunch of roses on that day...that’s right, she got them. Every fuckin guy is after her. The other day we were standing in the hall and some guy she went to high school with comes up all like ‘hey, how are you, etc’ and gives her 2 kisses on the cheeks and so obviously hitting on her. What the fuck you think you’re doing asshole??! I wanted to fuckin punch him!
I am so madly in love with her, it’s pathetic. I’m addicted to her. Everyone is...I guess I’m lucky she even talks to me.
You know what I did? I drew a portrait of her and gave it to her, thinking it would set me apart from all the others (yeah right...some dude who’s after her has a BMW, come on, I stand no chance..) I still can’t believe I did that.
Whatever happens, happens, screw it.

(May I ask you how old are you? (I’m 21))

ok, not so drunk dude,here’s the thing.It sounds like she is into you a little bit. It sounds like you spend some time together and get along well..have you ever been out to a movie, or concert or just hanging out at the mall ?Can you ask her to do this stuff with you or is she still with her boyfriend? If she is with a boyfriend, then I hate to tell you but you will have to keep admiring from afar and sometimes it is better that way so reality does not come along and ruin things.And you think you are pissed off with the other guys now,if she was your girlfriend, you would be angry and jealous and pissed off all the time with all the guys hitting on her all the time..not fun. If she agrees to go out on a casual date with you, then she is into you. Girls (especially we beautiful ones) will not waste time with a guy they are not interested in, they just won’t. And fuck the BMW...girls don’t care about a guys car as much as you think we do.so don’t get hung up on the car.And you do stand a chance..why would’nt you? So don’t give up on her..Have you thought about telling her how you feel? Or is it the boyfriend in the way thing again? Telling your crush how you feel can be very exciting and hopeful but be prepared for a painful answer and have a plan in your head on how you will deal with it. The sad and awful truth is that someone might act like they are into you, so you start crushing on them(like I did) in a major way and then when you ask them out (like i did)it turns out they were never into you at all, it only looked like they were and then you feel like a broken hearted fool (like i did)..so be prepared for all those fun things...good luck, you sound very nice and smart and cool....AG

adventuregirl,
We do get along well, we always smile at each other. We never really went on an “official” date, but got to do some stuff together. About 2 weeks ago, we were seeing each other almost everyday, she works not too far from my house and since we had a class together in the evening, she’d call me when she finished work and come pick me up (she has a car) and we’d go eat somewhere and then go to class. But like I said, it was never an official date or anything, it happened because of “circumstances”. We also used to study for exams together at the end of the semester.
You see, the problem is...it’s me actually...I’m kind of a shy person, and certainly not “the one that gets all the girls” type. I only ever had 1 real, serious girlfriend and one “summer thing”, so I’m not really good at the first step thing. What bothers me the most is imagine I’m in the “just friends” category...That would suck big time. I don’t need more friends..I have enough already! On top of that, there’s the boyfriend, I’ve never actualy seen him, because she’s very discreet about these things, but still I know there is a guy.
Anyway, what’s your take on this? I am really confused by her behaviour.. She’s sweet and nice to me all the time, but she’s this way with everybody, she’s that kind of person with an amazing personality, when she enters a room, she draws everybody’s attention, and she connects with people so easily. I actually admire her for that, I wish I was like that.
But enough about me, what about you? How’s it going with that delivery dude? Anything new?

DD, things sound really good, you are actually quite lucky to be doing this stuff with your crush. The problem with such sweet and nice people as this girl is that if they are like this with everyone, you don’t really know if she is interested in you or if she is just being her usual self.Then there is the boyfriend, which can be a major problem.Maybe you are better than him. I find it amazing that he did not mind that she picked you up from her work, went out to eat and then study or go class with you and he did not mind, so maybe they might be breaking up/ things are not so great, i don’t know just guessing here.  So here is what i think based on her actions. She does like you..there is NO WAY a girl will go and pick up a guy in her car and spend all that time with him if she does not like him.But again i am guessing here and i can imagine what torture this must be for you to keep guessing too. So you can either keep guessing and agonizing and fantasizing which is so brutal (I know, I do it all 24/7 with my delivery guy) and no way to live and no way to waste your summer and your youth and other good times you could be having or you could end the agony and just tell her how you feel and what are the chances of her going out with you, just like that, simple and honest. Easy right ?

I know she might say the “just friends” speech so be ready for that and hold it together. The pain will fade and truth might help you get over it and say “screw it” and mean it this time.Or you can just ride it out and see what happens by itself, you know, let nature take its course and see what happens. But that is very hard and I believe you have to take action and take risks and put yourself out there to get what you want.Life is too short and the things you really want might just get away from you and who needs the regrets on top of all the other shit you are going thru. I sent my delivery guy a note after 7 months of intense flirting, telling him that i enjoyed seeing him every day and that if he wanted to go for coffee sometime to call or email me. Anyway, I did not hear anything back from him (you want to talk about pain?) but I still don’t regret sending the note and telling him how I felt and seeing what would happen. Shortly after this he changed his route and i have not seen him for a while but I constantly think about his face,eyes and smile and body and the way he walked into my workplace and looked at me and I can hardly stand not having him or not having him be mine. So telling might help it might not..what have you got to lose ? Thanks for asking about my guy, that was sweet of you. Can you tell me why you think he did not call, i’d love a guys opinion on this.Do guys hate getting notes? Why would a guy not go for a girl that he acted interested in?  i am few years older than you (26).This guy was about 35, not married but not sure about a girlfriend. I did not talk to him much, I was always too toungue tied and frozen and blushing like crazy when he came around.  And tell me more about this girl if you want, i am happy to give you advice, support. When will you see her next ?

adventuregirl,
I think I’m in love with you , no but seriously, you sound like a great girl, I wish I knew you. Reading your posts make me smile, I don’t know why, so thanks! And thanks for the advice. Now it’s my turn.
Let’s see...I can’t think of a reason why a guy wouldn’t respond to a note of the kind you gave him...First, it’s flattering especially coming from a pretty girl such as you (I know you are). I know I would, even if I already had a girlfriend, or was married or whatever. It’s just a normal thing to do. I am pretty sure that if he had it, he would have responded. You know, I have this awful habit that pisses me off..: I always imagine the worst possible (or even impossible!) scenarios. I try to control it as much as possible, but it’s not easy, and this crush thing is not helping. What I am trying to say is...if that guy did not respond to your note doesn’t automatically mean he wasn’t interested...A thousand things could have happened, maybe he lost it before he had the chance to read it, maybe he’s still thinking how to respond (how long it’s been?) or maybe the other delivery dude who was supposed to get it to him is an asshole and he threw it away as soon as he left your office. Or how about, he did send you a message, but it’s in your junk mail and you didn’t check it! Just kidding But seriously, anything could have happened.
They say hope dies last, but it must be freakin despairing to not be able to see the person and have no means to get in touch. I understand, I do. Sharing these things might help so feel free to get it off whatever it is on your mind, I will be reading it. I wish you all the best.

Oh yeah one last thing…you know that girl I’ve been whining about, she’s a year older than me. It may be an insignificant detail, but I know a lot of girls wouldn’t date younger guys (for all kinds of reasons, doesn’t matter), but on the other hand, it’s just a year, it’s nothing right? What do you think?

How’s it going DD? thanks for your great response, i really enjoyed it and your advice was great.. I just thought he was not interested but maybe there are other reasons that i may never know. It’s been about 5 weeks since the note and since i saw him last so i think its safe to say he won’t be calling. also, i don’t know for sure if he got the note so if he ever comes back on this route again(that will a dream come true), i could ask him, if i can screw up the courage and actually talk to him and breathe at the same time. Also, i am thinking of asking his buddy the new guy how my guy is doing, you know just “so how is your friend doing ?” He’ll know who I mean alright but I think he will think i am a nut..its bad enough that he had to deliver a note for me to his buddy as if we were all in high school. this new one always looks at me too and says hi but i don’t think for entirely flattering reasons. Maybe my guy laughed or said “Oh no” or something negative when he got the note so now this guy looks at me with pity, maybe.Who knows? Your insight was great thanks.Enough about me already. In my next post I will tell you what my note said (it was really short)if you want and you can tel me if it sounds too pushy or forward cos i think guys don’t really go for that .
Now, I gotta tell you, one year age difference is a minor detail, do not even worry about it. When will you see her next and do you think you will talk to her about how you feel or are you just gong to let it be for now. I am so glad you can see her regularily(I think you do). The agony of having a crush on someone who is in your life very infrequently is to be avoided at all costs.Wishing you all the best, as usual. AG

adventuregirl,
Oh...my...god, after almost 2 weeks of radio silence, she just called me a few hours ago. Said she’ll pick me up tomorrow afternoon (tomorrow is our last class, exam actually, and I barely studied, fuck), so yeah, and she said she wants to pay me a coffee...Is she fuckin kidding me? You don’t say a word for 2 weeks and then pay me a coffee??! And she called me buddy at the end… what the fuck does it mean?? Why do I have to overanalyse everything? I should know that it’s useless since you girls make no fuckin sense! Why do I care so much anyway? I used to be aloof, not giving shit about anything…what happened? What she did to me?! Damn her.
Anyway, I was kind of pissed, so I barely talked...hope it didn’t cool her down. So I came up with a plan, since she’s been giving me all these rides and stuff, I’ll ask her to take her out somewhere during the next week end to thank her, whatever. Lame, I know. But, she can’t refuse, can she. We’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck.
However, there is no way I’m telling her how I really feel, because she is not interested in me in that way (maybe she will sometime in the future, yeah right I wish), so I’ll let it be this way for now, otherwise it’s going to get awkward and I’ll never see her again. It’s the kiss of death man!!!
You are absolutely right, I am still lucky to be able to see her from time to time, even though she does her disappearing act ever now and then. I wish it wasn’t this complicated…
Anyway, back to you, you really shouldn’t worry about this new delivery guy and what he thinks, I think you have enough on your mind as it is. Asking him would be a good idea. It’s none of his business, you and the other guy could be the best of friends for all he knows (unless he read the note…what did you write anyway?). In any case screw him, don’t get stuck on what he thinks of you, he doesn’t matter. Focus, AG, focus!
Someone wise once told me that you have to think about the positive for it to happen, so hang in there and your guy will be back. You’re not alone.

Cool, DD. i am so glad she called you, that is so great. Don’t go too hard on the two week absence deal, tho, maybe she was busy with friends, working, school etc, don’t get too pissed about it and give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe even ask her how she’s been for the last little while as you have not heard from her, real casual and friendly. We want this to go somewhere right? Yeah crushes can make you overanalyse your crushes behaviour,that
s what crushes do, they can be brutal like that. so she called you up, called you buddy and offered to buy you coffee, holy shit man, you are so lucky !! You have a good thing going there.  Yes, ask her out, it will be great and she will of course say yes ! Just keep it real low key and casual and friendly. BTW, is the Boyfriend still around?  Yeah and a good idea to let things be as they are. If you tell all, then things might get very awkward and weird and then you’ll wish like hell you’d kept your mouth shut and that’s a nice regret to live with.Someone in another post here said let nature take it’s course so there you go. You sound smart and funny and cool so don’t ever lose confidence in yourself I am dying to hear what happened today with the coffee etc.
You are right, I will stop worrying about dude #2, fuck him, i really don’t give a shit what he thinks actually, only in that he is connected to my guy.I am going to ask #2 about his friend next time I see him.Also i am pretty sure my guy will be back on this route again and i will see him again. (positive thinking) Here is what i wrote in my note(what do you think)
“I am sorry that I don’t know your name. Just want you to know that it was always really nice to see you every morning. If you have time, maybe we can go for coffee sometime. You can call or email me, i would like that. Best of luck on your new route. “
Then i attached my bus card with tel # and e mail address.
Looking forward to hearing about what happened with you and her today. I think it is going to be good. AG.

Hello, adventuregirl, how are you today?
I’m here with a daily report to you.
Not really sure where to start here, there are so many things racing through my mind right now. So, she came, (holy shit, was she hot today or what!!) I hopped in her car, (picked up my jaws from the ground first) and we went for that coffee. On our way we were talking and stuff ‘how are you, how’s work, school, etc’ the usual crap. (I wasn’t pissed at her of course; she doesn’t owe me any explanation or anything…Yesterday it was more like me pissed off at myself, yeah I know, I’m fucked up, I think way too much..). Anyway, at the coffee shop, she didn’t just pay me a coffee but a whole bunch of stuff, I was starting to feel uncomfortable, because she insisted on paying for everything (she does that all the time with her friends too). We spent there a bit more than an hour and at the same time we went through our books and I helped her out with few things she didn’t totally understand for the exam. It went well and we had a lot of fun actually. Then after that stupid exam, on our way back to the car I said “listen, you’ve been giving me all there rides and all that stuff, so let me do something for you in return, next weekend we’ll do something together and everything’s on me this time”, she starts laughing and goes “you don’t owe me anything, but ok” (sweet!). So, bottom line we’ll be going out somewhere next weekend, I’m not sure what we should do yet, should I ask her what she wants to do and decide on something together, or plan something myself? Whatever happens after, I am just glad I’ll be seeing her and being around her fro a few hours.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know it doesn’t really mean anything, we’re just doing this as friends, nothing more. But still. I am breathing heavily, my heart’s pounding, my mind is going nutts, I feel all weird, what the hell is going on?!
About that boyfriend of hers…I decided to not worry about the things I can’t control and him being one of them, I chose not to think about that. But like I said, it’ll be just a “friendly” thing, it’s not like I’m a jerk stealing his girlfriend…I would never do that, for the simple reason that I wouldn’t want it done to me.
Also, I hope I’m not going into to many details and it doesn’t sound like I am bragging or anything. I’d hate to make you feel even slightly bad. Please forgive me. I’d be more than happy if everything worked out for you even for 1 day (like it did for me today), I am sincere, I swear.
One last thing, totally off-topic, I find in amazing to be able to connect with someone, like I do with you right now. I mean, I have no idea where you are on the face of this planet, yet here I am, telling tou stuff I wouldn’t tell even my best friend (unless I am really really drunk, then maybe) and I can imagine you staring at your screen reading what I just wrote, and hopefully smiling a few times. It means a lot.
Take care.

Dear AG and DD.... WOW! Notice how this blog has gone silent besides your dialogue? I think everyone is rivetted like me.  I’m rooting for BOTH of you, but I agree with DD, you’ve made this awesome connection ... could it be you’re getting a crush on each other? I double-dog-dare you!  Hey AdventureGirl, I guess I was wrong on my May 9th posting.  I live with a guy who works for FedEx in the winter months and yeah, I love it when he gets all dressed up in the uniform (he’s my border).  I know you two are totally deep into your crushes, but I just wanted to tell you a little about my last one that crushed me (it does happen a lot because guys just want to be my friend - and THAT’S IT! boo-hoo 4me).
Anyway, I was all up for something to happen when he said “I don’t think of you in that way” (phsssssssssssst - the balloon got popped), but we went for wings anyway and he asked for a hug at the end of the evening.  He has turned out to be a pompous ass (sorry DD, but it’s true) and everyone around me thinks the same way.  Everytime a crush crushes me, I give up a little, and then later down the road along comes another.  So AdventureGirl, like I said before (and I guess this applies to mostly me) if the pattern repeats itself, learn from it.
DD - this is a really cool thing that is happening to you.  You’re taking the right approach about being calm, cool, and collected (ya-right!).  She sounds like a pretty independent woman and I guess you have to respect that. Having said that, I do want to reiterate what I said previously in that you have formed a special bond with The Adventure Girl, and take a look at that for what it’s worth.  You’re open and honest. You have respect for the opposite sex (+++).  Now it’s a matter of the next step, trusting ... I don’t want to fill your overloaded emotional quadrant with any doubts whatsoever, just want to put the yellow flags out there for you so when you take your own advice you also stand back and listen to the conversation and try very hard NOT to over analyze.  Good Luck with the “whatever you do” thing. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.
Hang in there Adventure Girl - I’m still rooting for you too !!!
AlwaysCrushed (I’m shutting up now, and thanks for indulging me)

DD, great to hear from you, things sounded so good.I am truly happy for you. It was so nice of you to be concerned about making me feel bad, that was so sweet of you. It’s OK. don’t let that stop you from telling me all the great stuff that’s going on and even the not to-so great stuff. Your afternoon sounded so great. Adn I am lookign forward to hearing about the “date” if you want to tell me about it, Oh yeah, the heart beating, the breathing the crazy weird feeling inside...been there, everytime he walked in. I think it means the person seriously rocks your world.
Always crushed, nice to hear from you, was wondering where you went. I am glad Pompous Ass did not work out, his loss, move on. I do check out other guys sometimes, esp if they look like him but its not him.

I guess I am not open to other crushes right now, no siree.
Your post was great, hope you chat again soon.
DD, I am looking forward to hearing from you .AG

DD, what i meant to say was, you did not make me feel bad at all..more in my next post ..AG

DD, where are you? How was the weekend with her?  AG

Ladies, once again I’m a little drunk, damn, I sound like an alcoholic, I’m so sorry, I’m not, I’m a good guy really, but come on I’m 21 give me some slack lol, Don’t worry thought; I’m still totally conscious and aware of what I’m going to write here. It’s going to take a little longer to type that’s it.
AlwaysCrushed,
Wow, I didn’t expect anyone to read any of my crap really, but then adventuregirl responded and it felt great. Didn’t know you were reading, but thank you so much for rooting for me! It means a lot to me.
You are right, this girl I am talking about is pretty independent. No one tells her what to do or not to do, not even her boyfriend, so that’s why she’s been doing all this stuff with me. I don’t think that dude was even aware. But I guess it makes her that much hard to get doesn’t it?
adventuregirl,
Sorry for the late response. I’m so glad I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, I’d hate that. ‘THE’ weekend in supposed to be the next one, this weekend I was too busy dinking with my buddies. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you everything about it. For now, nothing new on my side, I did not hear from her since last Thursday. I’m freaking out, but it’s normal, I always get anxious and worked up when I don’t hear from her for a few days and then she calls me or writes me an email or something and it feels unbelievable. I just hear her voice (her voice is unbelievable, I’d listen to her for days, literally, I love her voice) or read her email and my heart goes 100 miles an hour. I can’t explain it. I’m still thinking what we should do…Do you girls like originality for a first ‘date’ or the usual dinner and a movie? I’m going to think about it this week.
Shit I almost forgot…There’s a good chance I’ll have to leave the country for almost a year for work in a few weeks. That really gums up the works with this girl. I want to go, because it’s a great opportunity but then again, I freak out when I don’t see her for 2 weeks, imagine a year…I’ll fuckin die. This is the toughest and crappiest decision I had to make in my entire (short) life… Not sure what to do here…Thank god for beer, the greatest invention of man!
How’s it going AG? Tell me about yourself though. What do you do for a living? (hope it’s not too personal to write on a blog like this one)

adventuregirl,
I knew I forgot something…That note you wrote…it’s perfect really, not too personal, you sound interested, but not too much, it’s perfect. Like I said few days ago, if he had it, he would have responded, even if it was to say: “sorry, I can’t, but it was very nice of you” or something like that. If I had to guess, I’d say he never had it. Ask that other dude like you were planning. Keep me posted!