I’m 20yrs and I have a crush on a man at work. I think he is around 48yrs and I don’t think speaking out about it would be okay. I know he is not w/ anyone but he has kids my age. He makes me feel like I’m in junior high again. It’s crazy because I would have never thought I would have a crush on someone way older than me.

Here’s a different kind of subject here. I’m a female that had my first crush on a female, because I thought she was into me. Comes to find out she thinks I’m crazy and is scared of me. She told everybody at school that I’m gay and insane and I dropped my classes because I’m a servere closet case. I hate her now and she didn’t have to do me like this, but oh well life goes on.

I’m 25 years old and I have a crush stronger than any I’ve had since I was aprox. 14 years old.  It’s on my dance teacher.  This is weird for me, because I never write to website forums like this.  The thing is, I spent a while in another country not too long ago, and feel quite deeply in love. That ended, it was complicated, and I haven’t entirely gotten over it.  My new crush is from that same place, but lives in my City, and has this wonderful energy and characteristics that remind me of my time living there, and loving there.  However, no matter how badly I want my crush, I don’t think it will happen.  For one, he has a girlfriend (or says he does, but I have doubts) 2, I think there must be a ton of ladies who also want him pretty badly and what makes me special? 3- I have a pretty amazing partner, who I should be extremely attached to and grateful for, who I would have to give up to be with this crush.  So...I don’t know what to do.  I don’t really know how to get over it (although I think I’m going to skip my dance class this week to gain some perspective).  I also don’t really want to let it go...in a way I’m partly holding on to my past relationship through him, and letting go of this crush is like further letting go of my other past love. Part of me feels like fi I can be with this guy, I’ll feel perfect, and will never regret losing my past love again.  Any advice from anyone? Anyone who’s had a similar experience?

I have this HUGE crush on this guy, but the thing is I don’t even know him. I don’t know what grade he is in, how old he is, I have NEVER talked to him. He used to be in one of my classes in the first semester but in the second school semester our schedules change a bit, and he’s in none of my classes. It was at the beginning of the second semester that I realized that I had fallen for this guy. I don’t even know how? I only see him in between classes in the hallway, we just pass each other in the hallway....it doesn’t make sense to me when I say that I have a crush on him. He’s not even that good looking....WHY DO I LIKE HIM? All I have is his first name and a mental picture. That’s it. I don’t want to like him because he might not be who I think he is since I don’t know him. Has this happened to anyone else?

Anonymous,yes I have felt that way
But...When i stare at them they say ‘EW’and laugh with their friends.I feel like ill never have a BF in middle school except for dorky nerds ugh.

Its so great to read about other people going through the same thing. I am an attractive 26 year old teacher who has a major crush on one of my students. He is only 17. I know many of my students find me attractive and try to flirt (its very cute!)but I have always been very cool about it.

But this guy...hes something else. I cant stop thinking about him. We chat online and txt each other often.

I really have tried to stop feeling like this but I just cant. I am married to a wonderful man who has a brillant career...so why is this happening?
Its like a drug and I just cant stop even though i know I could lose my job and destroy my life over this crush..I feel its getting deeper everyday.

He invites me round to his house and to other social events with his friends but I never go. I just make a joke about it. I dont know if he gets hurt by my refusal or not. Its hard to tell because he seems so cool and in control.

He has made it very obvious that he likes me. We were sitting together one time and his leg was right up agaisnt mine. I didnt move. It felt so crazy..I feel alive whenever Im with him.
My husband and I are going to move overseas in 2 years time but I feel I just cant leave. It will break my heart. I dont know what to do...I feel so torn. All I can think about is the next time I get to see him.

I would agree with heartsick..crushes are ageless....

i have a crush on a older man but i don’t know what to do. hes my parents age. and i want to get over him. any advice??

Although I am very happily married, I have the biggest crush on my Doctor. I try very hard to hide my feelings, I try not to look him in the eyes and strive to maintain my composure whenever I see him. In reality, I would not do anything to hurt my marriage, these “thoughts” in my head are only “fantasies” and NOT REAL.  At times, I even dream about him, and on one occasion when I made love to my husband, I closed my eyes, and imagined it was actually my Doctor. I was so so hot and excited - it was good for my marriage. Fantasies seem to be good for a marriage sometimes.

I have a HUGE crush on this guy who i think is totally hot. We look sooo much alike people think we’re related! His big sis even said we’re the perfect couple. I’ve known him since I was 5. I used to hate him but now I love him. I am in a musical at school and I just figured out that he is one of the drama students backstage helping some of the dancers put their costumes on. I got so depressed when a guy told me he didn’t like me. He now knows that i like him but for some reason I just don’t want him to know. His best friends told him. His homeroom and math class are right beside my class. when I went on a trip with my school to a live performance he was sitting in the next row about 6 seats away. I just couldn’t stop staring. His family is like my family we’re so close. Whenever I see him my stomach feels weird and I don’t feel like saying hi, but when I go to a party he’s my brother in a way. I will write more later. This is just the beginning.

I am one of those dancers. And I think that guy who said he dosen’t like me was lying. We both hardly ever speak to each other in school. My best friend ever thinks that he’s too weird and dosen’t know I like him. I pretens he’s gross too. And now his whole grade knows that i like him, but I don’t want anyone to know.

i liked this guy for two years, then he broke my heart and is seeing someone else. Now I like this new guy. I think he may like me but I don’t know. I’m afraid to tell him because I knew he used to like the girl my old crush is now going out with...[funny huh]
and I’m afraid of getting rejected yet again

I’m 18 years old. I have a crush on a man, he’s about my parent age. I have the feeling he likes me to. During the past I always see him staring at me. I spoke to him 3 times in the past. The last time I spoke to him he asked me for my number but i didn’t give it to him for different reasons involving my ex- boyfriend.Plus because of the age difference to. It’s a big number.I tried cutting of these feeling by thinking negative thoughts about him. But it doesn’t help me at all. I never liked him before. It’s a long story believe me.  But now I liked him for about 5 months now. I keep having mixed feeling towards him. Right now I need some advice. I don’t know what to do. I need help.

I’m 13 going on 14 right now and I’m going through my first major crush. I’ve had small little crushes before but I’ve never felt so strongly about someone. When I was in 7th grade last year, I joined a kind of team. The team was about marching around the stadium before the Sports Day started. Its like the opening ceremony. Most of the freshmen join this team to get out of other things like running or jumping. I thought we were just going to march around like we did in elementry school, but I was wrong. I think most of the 7th graders were surprised t find that there were commands to follow and formations to memorize. Anyw, our captain, lets say his name is J, made a bad first impression on me. I thought he was immature, a dork and totally weird. I even whispered to my friend, My gosh that guy looks really weird. But when we were going up to class, my friend told me, I think i have a crush on J. I was shocked. How on Earth could she like someone like that?? The following weeks were a huge affect on me. I started liking him too. My feelings were minor at the time but it grew, and grew and grew. It got pretty out of hand when my friend and I started getting excited when we saw him. And being the people we are, it showed. It got crazier to the point where J tensed up everytime he talked to us. Well, that what we felt anyw. We started talking to J online and my feelings deepened. He was just so cute, and sweet, and kind, and nice and determined and...absolutely lovely. He got stressed, and sick and lost his voice countless times for the team. It was painful seeing him like that. It hurt me so much but in the end, all his work paid off. We won the competition. And even after all that, he said to me, “You guys did most of the work anyways.” When HE was the one that put in so much effort. I felt like I loved him. Usually I’d avoid the word love because its a bit strong, but it felt like it. I even got to a point where I cried everyday. It went on for about two weeks, or a month. And then I just stopped crying. I felt like I had no more tears to shed. I reminded myself that the only thing crying going to do to me is make me more upset. More depressed. So I stopped crying. I’m in 8th grade now. I’ve loved him for a year. Not exactly the longest time on record but its the longest I’ve had. I still treasure the few things, he’s ever given to me. Marchpass, a flag we used for one of the formations and the team shirt. And of course the memory of all that. But even now, I still don’t know whether those memories are good or bad. He’s graduated now so he’s in college. Yet I still try and try to gain his friendship. Even now. Today, I’m trying to get the team to win the competition again but the team this year really sucked and I got pretty pissed off about it. None of the juniors bother to show for practice. But I still have hope that we’ll win. Even if most of them aren’t commited, there are some people in the team who are willing to work hard. And even if I’m the only one whol feels this way, but if we win this year, its going to be for J.

Oh and did I meantion half the school knows about our crush on him?????

Everything angel-in-lurve wrote was TRUE! I’m the girl who fell in lovED wif J first time..1st Major Crush EVER!! When is see him, i feel so hAPPY n excited n i go totally blank. Its hard to describe that feeling..but i think u’ll noe how i felt.
At first i was kinda sad when he’s going Trinity College in Aussie, but then after a few weeks later i just let go..But i’m still in contact wif him so i’m still good.
Half of His FRIENDS knew I liked him..or rather ‘WE’ LIKED HIM. i still do..i too kept the BlueFlag we used for marchpass. Having a crush on someone is VERY hard!
Angel-in-lurve went depressed on him..not the serious type of depressed just depressed.Friends to do not fight over a guy..ppl! i dun understand what i wrote..

I agree most with heartsick’s comments.  A lot of times crushes can just be a way you express, unconsciously, to yourself, what your biggest insecurities are, and a way to hope to get over them.  I ALWAYS get crushes on guys that are older than I am and successful.  I am a younger sibling, and have always been shy, and I think that because when I was little I felt like I got little attention, and wasn’t very confident about my smarts and personality, it plays out in my adult life in my getting crushes on these types.  How?  Well, I fantasize about them reciprocating my feelings and me ‘catching’ them.  In other words, the sense of accomplishment that would come in an older, successful guy thinking highly of me, my intelligence and my personality, would make me feel good.  Acknowledging this makes me feel better about the situation, but it doesn’t make it any easier, especially because I’m in a relationship with a guy who I really really love.

nothing like having a crush on someone you work with. i think he’s seeing someone else though. the bad part is, i told him i had a crush on him. he didn’t say anything - didn’t deny or confirm. yeah i feel so very stupid. it’s awkward coming to work now. it makes me happy to see him. then again, i ought not have crushes - i am way past teenage years. it sucks to have a crush. i don’t know him that well which is worse. there is something sweet about him that i like.

Puzzled and pondered for a long time, my curiosity brings me to ask the public on the ways of confessing your affection for the ones you crush.
This may benefit the rest if stories are shared…

Yeah, I know what you guys are all getting at. I’m 15, and I’ve had two crushes in my life; The first one was huge, and I got over it around a month or so ago. This was mainly because I told her how I felt, and she didn’t return the feelings. I still clung on to the crush desperately long after that, getting more and more hurt, until finally she just stopped talking to me for a while and managed to get over it.

Now I’m getting another crush. I don’t know what to do anymore...I got extremely hurt the last time, and I know that if I tell her and get rejected I’ll try to cling to the possibility of a relationship once again. I don’t want to go through that, but just letting every day pass by, not saying anything...Argh! This is really tearing me up.

crushes keep me occupied, give me something to do. but i think that crushes have stages. and mine just hit the stage where you become upset if you think they like somebody else and jealous if they keep talking to somebody pretty…
i used to not care so much. i used to just like talking to this guy and looking at him and thinking about him and everything was for the sole purpose of keeping myself happy
now it can hurt :/

crushes have stages

the first one is just you think about someone to keep you occupied

then next is you wanna spend time with them

and then next is you get upset if you think they like someone else and you get really jealous if they talk to someone pretty and suddenly their romantic interests matter to you

im nearly at the last one
i dont know what to do
this crush used to be fun, its starting to actually matter to me

i agree w/ gable.  you can be happily married, , and yet still develop a crush on someone.  i find it difficult to fight the feeling, and just enjoy living in the moment.  i, too, am a s sucker for a kind face and a nice smile!  it kind of makes you feel like a schoolgirl again.

OK, guys, esp tool and C Lion, would love your input here. Getting over a crush is two steps forward and one pian ful step backward and i am in backward mode . I have a major crush on the delivery guy at my work, for about 7 months now. He always says hi and bye, lots of smiling eye contact, tries to get my attention when he leaves, lots of chemistry between us, my instincts are telling me.Well, about 2 weeks ago, he had to change his route or schedule or something cos i have not seen him since and it HUrTS.I sent him anote, very casual, telling him that it was always nice to see him and if he wanted to go for coffee sometime to call or e mail me, that would be great. thats all, not too pushy or forward, real casual . Well, i have heard nothng, nada, not a call, not nothing. I hate that age old question “why does’ nt he call?” but hell “why does nt he call ?” I was ure he was into me, i am feeling hurt, foolish and rejected and mostly like a fool for sendign a note to a guy who is not into me. He is probably with someone (he is about 35, no wedding ring)..whats the deal ? Tool ? . Any of you fine brave folk who are going thru same ? And you are brave..you will look back on your crush one day and be glad it turned out the way it did and of the lessons you learned but i know we are not there yet…

I just read my own post above and don’t think I.m going to like anyone’s answer..I think of this guy constantly his face and smile and eyes are in mind al the time...I am crushing on him real bad. Vrai, You have to tell your crush soon or you will go crazy again..the getting over the hurt is always shorter than the going crazy..knowledege is power my friend..even tho you don’t always want to know, its better in the long run…

Ok adventuregirl… been there done that! For sure. You must love a guy in a uniform, just like me… LOL. Nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I’ve even done the note thing. It must be their personality type. You’d think that when you see the cycle repeating itself you might try another tactic. I believe if you don’t try anything, eventually the tables turn and THEY start sending YOU the notes (what? am I dreaming?) Yeah probably.  Wait for it and he might just come around. Maybe he’s busy with hockey playoffs, or the start of softball season, or on a rebound from someone else. Waiting is hard, but something we all have to go through. Best of luck… Alwayscrushed