I can’t believe I’ve been married 32 years and I am 54 years old and I have a crush on a guy who is about 6-7 years younger than myself. We are friends and I feel myself “light-up” when he comes around, but I am old enough to know, it’s a crush. How strange for a woman my age. Everything described in all the previous posts rings so true...it is painful, exhilirating, exciting, secret, heartbreaking, and makes you feel alive all at the same time. What the heck is this all about??? I feel really freaked out by the whole experience.

guess what i went out with my crush. i asked him out. we talked (more like complained) a lot about work and then since then, at work, he doesn’t even speak to me. he never comes by to say hi anymore and i feel like he is giving me signals that he does not like me and he does not want me to like him. i know he liked me 2 years ago, but i don’t think he has feelings for me like that anymore. who knows men are hard to read.

now i have an old boyfriend from last year back in the picture and it’s just complicating things. i don’t know why any of this is complicated bc/ it’s not like i’m attached to either one of them.

i never told my crush how i felt about him, since i work with him. and after hanging out with him, I was really getting to know him for the 1st time, and it was pretty relaxed. so, i think our crushes are more a power of the imagination if anything. but at work the tides have shifted. it’s just weird. i can’t read is mind. he’s younger too so maybe he’s just not mature enough. who knows. it’s frusterating. i think i just want to drop it. it’s too mind-boggling.

I think crush is not bad for young children,its just making them feel good...........I have a crush on my classmates......then i can’t look at his face....because im so very very shy......my crush ask me that who is my crush? i just txt him,i said,, you...he didn’t believe me..and then i ask him who is your crush? he said me.....i’m so very very very very very very happy......when going to school we are not talking to each other beacause we are shy......and days past he txt me i’m sorry she has a crush on my another classmates.....i’m so very very very very very sad for what he has said......and i promise to my self that i will not have any crush in every boys,,,,,,except CELEBRITIES..........................

Here again...old woman with a crush. New development...while he’s traveling for 10 days out of the country he has given me a key to his house and asked me to keep an eye on things while he’s gone. Says to make myself at home and enjoy the space. Whoa! I can’t wait until the first time I go because I’m gonna fix a pot of coffee, sit, and just soak up his vibe...I’m freaking out!!! I even jokingly commented to him that all these “older” women have crushes on him...we’re his “groupies”. I think he kind of enjoys it and so I’m beginning to feel less stress over the crushing part and now feel more relaxed about continuing the budding friendship. So very cool…

I think somebody is tryin to tell me something because my crush is in my gym class now, i was originally in a different gym class but they switched me and he was in that one, so now i have to sit threw 2 class periods of gym with him, i’m real shy so i’m just going to be with my friends and try not to look at him!!!!

F#%k, I miss Katie so much. I found her page on myspace and I sent her a friend request and a message and I’m dying to see if she accepts it. She has her profile set to private so that a good thing (right) I love her. I know that sounds crazy because we only had one class together and I don’t know her but my brain is eating my sole for not taking that chance when I had it. A girl like her into someone like me. I mean I have a pic of her I would I wish I could post it. Classes began today and I didn’t see her and I was numb. I know it’s college not high school and the chances of running into someone again are slim, but I can’t take it anymore. Do you guys think it’s stalking for me to send her notes on myspace? What do I do.

It’s funny how everyone reacts in the same way towards a crush…

So many of the comments are exactly how I feel!  I like this person so much that I wouldn’t want to ruin a good friendship, but I think about them 24-7 and I would DEFINATELY want to be more than friends.  The chance of being rejected or making a good friendship turn akward is stopping me from letting this person know, but I want so much to tell him!!  I’m sensing that he MAY feel the same way, but your conception of what actions mean gets all blurred when you have a major crush on someone!!  Anyone know what I am talking about??  Everything seems as if it’s recipracated feelings, but it can be just a nice gesture or something like that.  AHhhhh I will eventually say something, because it is killing me inside!  A part of me wants to find out, but the insecure part wants me to live it in my head!  What to do, what to do?? 

...sure feels GREAT to vent it all out!!!

I went to his house and it was soooo strange, him not being there, but having the freedom to roam about a bit. Even though he gave me a key and said to make myself at home, I sort of felt like some kind of stalker...uncomfortable, yet glad to be there. I must warn those of you who are thinking of telling your crush what you feel...that may be the axe that falls on the relationship if you do...instead, find creative ways to deal with your feelings, like writing, music, art. Usually a crush will fade in time...something about them will turn you off or you’ll realize the qualities they have that you know would never work for you and then your heart will be freed from the pain. That is kind of what I’m going through right now. I prefer keeping the friendship over losing the entire relationship. I’ve learned that from experience and unfortunately we sometimes have to learn that way. It saves me a lot of grief now, though.

1st Too Shy, A friend is risky but who knows he might feel the same way, I had that experience when I was a teen and it ruined a friendship for a few years, but we end up getting cool again and grew apart.
I saw Katie today she is so sexy it should be a crime. I mean, this look she has on her face, my word. I want her so bad and if she still likes me (which I doubt) I’m going for it. I mean the only thing about hooking up with a crush is the “love is blind” thing. I mean I over look everything until the crush wears off but I think it’s different with her because the reason I didn’t take that chance before is because I knew she was gonna to break my heart. She’s only 19 and like I said before I could see spending at least half of the rest of my life with her raising children and all. I don’t think she’ll go for that. I know that sounds crazy not getting to know someone because I think this is the person for me. I sware I have never felt this way about any other crush before. I have yet to get involved with anyone and couldn’t imagine not knowing them anymore.

i’m with you claudia. i think our imaginations is what we have crushes on. maybe it good you’re watching his house bc/ you’re seeing what he’s like & it’s deflating the hugeness of your crush.

after i went out w/ my crush, i barely think about him anymore. i used to obsess about him 24/7 for 2.5 years. dreamt about him every night. then i finally hung out with him and he’s a nice guy and all, but for some reason i am just not that interested in him anymore. it’s like i had a crush on MY IDEA OF HIM, not him.

sometimes i think the human mind is way too complex for our own good. i’m looking into some dating things to meet people or friends. there’s a whole world out there!!! remember that!!!!

Cowardly Lion, dude, I totally understand your situation...It sucks so much...According to what your saying that girl must be amazing, but let’s be honest here...how long a girl like that stays sigle? Seriously? I’m talking from experience...I had a chance once and I blew it, I blew it so bad. I hope for your sake you’ll have another one after you blew yours. Good luck.

Yes sir tool, We have been passing message threw myspace, and exactly she’s in a relationship (that’s what her profile says) So I sent her a note asking what is up and she was like I tried to send two messages back but it didn’t go through(I blocked her when I saw she was taking) so I sent her two messages back telling her how I felt and that I wasn’t trying to “holla” at her I just want to know what’s so special about her that I’m drawn to her like this. So we’ll see what she says today I’m freaking out.

oh my god!!!! its a relief that there is many of us suffering form crushes....awwwwww there awful...take away your sanity......its been over 1.5 years in my case and the worse of it all is that its not possible...as in the crush is not possible to pursue as in the resaon beign firstly he is my lecturer and secondly we are from different back grounds and value completely different things....however even knowing this dosent make it go away.....also the fact im so not his type....and im not young or stupid....i am a happy young confident individual who enjoys life....but this is awaful......so any ideas on how i could get over him....ohh i have to see him alot.....well i dont have to but will end up goin to the canteen at lunch times when he’l be there etc....and he lives in my head 24/7...i agree with the posts above but any advice on how to get over this?????please im desperate,, its taking over my life and my happiness.....

Advice on how to get over it??? Are you kidding? If I knew that I’d be rich! Here’s what I’ve learned...first of all, in my case, I’m married and at the end of the day it’s my husband who takes care of me. It would devastate him to know my thoughts had wandered so, but I know that my crush doesn’t feel the same for me. We are strictly friends. Also, while I’m house sitting for my crush, I’ve had the chance to absorb a little of his world. I know it’s a risky position to be in and while I’m there I’ve begun to actually feel closer to him...but I constantly remind myself that the imagination is very strong and that’s what the majority of all this is...living in a fantasy world of my own making. Honestly, our society has dwelled too long on fantasy and I see no end in sight. It’s up to us to not allow our thought life to control us. Don’t cross the fine line from fantasy to reality. Try to mentally remove yourself, stand back and see that person objectively. What could REALLY happen between the two of you is probably NOT going to happen and even if it did, would probably not be anything even remotely close to what you thought it would be. All this being said, I have to take a big dose of my own medicine everyday and still have momentary struggles with doing the right thing. In my case, it would destroy what relationship I do have with my crush and secondly it would deeply hurt the man who has stood by me for 32 years. For most of you who are younger and not attached to someone this seems like a no-brainer and doesn’t apply to your situation, but trust me...it some ways it does. One thing that might work that I’ve used is this...if you do happen to be in a social situation where you are able to hang out and talk with your crush...listen for a moment when they’re talking about someone they actually like or that even they have a crush on. Grab that instant to gently pat them on the shoulder and cutely, even flippantly say this...well, you should know that dozens of us have a big old crush on you, it’s like you’ve got your own groupies...If you say it right, they’ll get the message AND you deflect some of the attention off yourself by including others, plus it’s a big ego boost for them to hear the groupie part...EVERYONE LIKES AN EGO BOOST...and you just sort of made a light, not heavy, reference to your feelings, but also kind of made them aware in a not too uncomfortable way. The key is to NOT stay on that line of discussion...once you’ve made your point, move on to ...let’s go get coffee, or hey, look, I’ve gotta run now, catch you later. Don’t EVER let them assume you’re sitting around grieving over them. Then they really will have too much power. Always keep the ball in YOUR court. If they volley back, then you can decide, but not until they do.

My issue still stands. Just when I think I figured out my problems, when reality comes, nothing makes sense.
I still have huge feelings for two people. One of which, I decided, that I should terminate because I feel like she’s more of an infatuation. This not the case, however. In fact, it’s the complete opposite case of Claudia because it is my imaginations that’s pulling me away, but when I come to meet this person face to face, my feelings just sprout out from the ground and grow again after I buried it. Yet, I feel as though if I got with her, it will be poorly short term.
On the other hand, the second person I have feelings for is much much deeper. I always have an urge to protect her, and I thought it was a mere indication of my care for her as a good friend. But when she talks to other guys, my heart rate augments, and a rush of envy goes through my entire body. All the while, I cannot imagine kissing her on the lips either. I don’t know what it is.
I think the best way to go about explaining your feelings for crushes, like Claudia said, is to mention is very casually and subtly. But I can just never think of a way to do so.

I just have to say we all are each others comforters...but- Insane- I’m feeling what your saying to the core same with -Man- and others, but things aren’t looking so good in my mind with Katie. I sent her one more message, but I think she’s upset because I took her off my friends list, but I know if she’s on my list I’ll sit and stare at it all the time and I want to get to know her the old fashion way. I’m not going to send her any new messages, but I’m going to ask her to be back on my friends list… we both have private Id’s. I’m going nuts over here because if I play my hand right and remember that she had a thing for me first last sesmester I can get the upper hand, but I lost that upper hand long ago because I was afraid of her. (I know loser) I’m crazy about her and if this goes how it possibly can by the end of the month I’ll know were we stand.
Good Luck everyone

hey.....i know its bizaar init....well ive dwelled over this crush issue today and decided to think of an ideal man or partner in my life....with a clear mind and keeping in mind issues that are of happiness to me....and the picture was rather different to my crush.....so i have for the last 8 hours (lol) felt better....i feel ill always have a soft spot but can see its no use....wasting my time, thoughts and being vulnerable to something i actually dont want....really deep down...so i dont know how long this will last as in positive sense...but thought id share it incase it is effective for any of you folks.....my syppathy is with you all...GOODLUCK!!!

oh guys....i do apologise about the spelling....and my way of writing...what can i say my typing skills are atrocious....sorry!!!

Cowardly Lion, looks like a classic case of love at first sight. And you know what they say about love at 1st sight? It has to be reciprocate...So I say go for it, what do you have to lose? It’s not like you knew her for some time and she’s your friend or something and you’ll lose her or whatever. Chances are she feels the same for you and you’ll live happilly together and have many kids

i have a crush on a boy named Jalil he is nice funny and very ticklish. He knows i like him a he flirts ith me! once he kissed me. don’t get me wrong im 16 but he is only a month older!!
i love him and he loves me!!!

Thanks Tool for the support man, I hope your right. After the note I sent yesterday she didn’t respond and wrote as her quote “tell me things will turn out for the best” what does that mean? When I got on today It said I had new messages but when I click it nothing was there do you know if people can erase their messages sent to you on myspace.
Oh, Alex how is that a crush if he like you too.

I guess I was wrong guys she doesn’t like me she has been ignoring me all this time so I’m like fuck it. It hurts but oh well can’t win them all. I hate that slut.

i agree with all of you guys. i am currently in a crush that tears at my heart every second that i am not with him, yet when i am around him (he’s in one of my classes), i put on a front that is cold and not interested in him. on the inside, i am deeply in love(lack for a better word) with him, but i try not to act this way to his face. we are in a mutual group of friends, yet i can never get myself to talk to him on my own. crushes will do that to you. they can make you so excited just about the very thought of your loved one, yet 99% of the time, your crush is just real in your fantasies. i know that i make up situations that involve my crush in them, yet in reality, none of these situations would ever come true. i am so wrapped around my crush that it actually makes me depressed and heartbroken when he doesnt talk to me. it is a huge problem in my life that affects me in too many negative ways.

Well Cassidy welcome to the club, My former crush is stuck up...the fantasy was just that.

Well she was thought it was odd, because I acted as if I didn’t know her when I first came in contact with her on her page, well we’ll see if she’s seriously going to stay mad, because when I finally got her to respond that’s the first thing she went on a tirade about, but her page said she was in a relationship when I know she’s not, I’m into her...she’s into someone else. Whoever that loser is needs to step up because he has a hot chick who’s into him, but I was scared of her when she wanted me but who knows with girls things are never what they seem..that sucks. I still like her her being stuck up could means she doesn’t sleep around.

I see what you mean… a few months ago I met this lad, I liked him immediately… I thought I would never talk to him and only look at him from afar… instead I talked to him and we became friends… every moment I was with him was special, he was so confident and so cool like nobody I had met before… I knew I wasn’t in love but I really felt fantastic… now I still see him but I feel that something has changed, I still like him but I am trying to convince myself that he will never like him and I have to stop… but I will never forget this, for the first time in my life I realised what it’s like to really want someone, it was one of the best things I’ve ever had.