Hmm..quite the interesting view. I agree with it fully,but how can you possibly
escape the “negative people when all they want to do is see you suffer and fail misserably?

I have so much resentment towards them all it isn’t funny.
i had to go throught all of high school with teachers telling me that it’s unlikely that I’ll ever succeed. I was very shy(still am),one reason to break me down. It nearly destroyed me,emotionaly and pysicaly.
After the four yrs. I had to slowly rebuild myself(like a broken frame) back to where I was. I was so positive and ambitious that they where scared of me. Why??? What is there to be afraid of? Why blame me for there mistakes that (they) not me, made in there life?
Yes,most of them try to blame others for there “bundle of short-comings”.

This is some of what I had to deal with and my experience. I’d tell you the rest but it be to utterly painfull,Id cry for 5 hrs.
anyways I just thought Id share this with you. what do you think? Has this same experience happened to you?

Currently my ambition and positive additude are higher than ever,but I lack motivation.

Have a good one!
-Zencrono.~

Please call me .. I have the same situation.

You are an inspiration!  My father has a girlfriend who is fake and wealthy.  She is a holistic healer who makes me feel less then healed while in her presence.  Recently, she has made it known that I need to attend all of her “traditional” family holiday events.  I actually stood up for myself infront of my husband (who kept his mouth shut of course) and kindly tried to tell her that I had my own family traditions and that they came first.  In the matter of minutes she had me in tears.  My point?  I don’t want to spend a minute with her and her petty friends who drink there wine and eat there damn smoked salmon!  Thank you for putting in words what I should have known from the start.  You are an inspiration to the human race.  EXCELENT writer!!!

I really needed to hear all of this.  The most negative person in my life is a parent and they have succeeded in making me feel small all of my life.  I am now 42 years old and am giving myself permission to limit my contact with this person.  I am not going to live the rest of my life with this unhappiness.  Thank you for these wise words.

End the suffering NOW! Or as one past TV Infomercialist put it: “Stop the Nonsense”.

I have had to step away from parental cruelty (they come to their senses eventually when they see the ill of their ways). I try not to hang with negative people. It takes a lot of inner strength, but it must be done. The cost is minimal. There may be a time of loneliness but you must endure this to reap the rewards of happiness.

I am currently suffering with two alcoholic men in my life. They play the guilt game very well and it’s extremely frustrating. I have to extricate them from my life in order to move forward with mine. This is the greatest challenge of all time… I need help! I have to stop the nonsense NOW!

So well written!!  I’m glad I came across this.  It’s hard to break free from negative people when its your mother/spouse/siblings…..I have been making an effort to stay away from most of it for a while, now(as much as I can, anyway)....if you can’t quit then cut-down the exposure as much as possible.  Let the energy-vampires in your life find someone else to feed off of…Believe me, they will.  This is what they do(and will be doing for the rest of their lives).
Debby

I have a friend that I have known for 6 years.  She is a constant complainer.  I have had talks with her about her complaining, but to no avail her complaining seeps into conversation in time. I have come to the conclusion that I need to sever the friendship.  I am having a hard time choosing the right words to say to her.  I know for some reason I am attracting this relationship, but I’m not able to deal with it anymore.

Hi

This is a really nice site, I have a relative that’s really negative. And I was thinking that I needed to remove her from my life or limit my contact with her, I do I want to be happy and I can’t be happy around her she is so jealous of me it make my stomach hurt.

Yep, I’ve got a brother who is extremely jealous of me. The negative aura when I’m in his presence is draining. Any conversation we have is akin to treading on eggshells - lest I mention something that touches on a jealous area and he typically goes quiet. That is my punishment. Crazy huh?
Get away from these people!

WoW this site really is something. ive suffered from depression for years, so i cant really help being pessimistic and shy. however, this article has given me a keener insight in to how ive made other people unhappy, especially my mother. im a loner because i opted to cut out all people who annoyed or upset me from my life. hmm, you can never have your cake and eat it. anyway, im hoping to join the army soon so hopefully iul meet some decent people.

This is a very good article!

I have been drawing negativy into my life since my first marriage. I’m on my fourth and it finally came to me that I am the one responsible for this. It is hard to cut spouses out easily, but it can and will be done. I am no longer afraid of expecting goodness and good people in my life. This article just reenforces my new attitude and I THANK YOU. Sometimes we need a little reminder.

Yes, I have a similar concern. I have been seeing a man off and on for six years; big gap in between, we reconnected this xmas. Yet, he has poor relationships skills. I think the Peter Pan Syndrom persona depicts him accurately. I care for him, both as friends and have tried a relationship. He continues to party and be a child in a man’s body. I have tried to address it with him. He becomes agry w me and no good comes from it, meaning no growth. The emotional relationship is waning, personal lifestyles are same. His lack of wanting to grow makes him be a negative, and agry peson, to me, not others, which is typical for the Pete Pan Syn. I rcently brought 12 lobsters to a party he and I put together, new friends of his. I received no thanks, he attended to others, no gratitude toward me….....on and on w these types, of situations. I have to walk away and I am sad as I know we could have a bright life together if he could face his fears and choose to grow!!

outside93

Thank you for writing this! I googled “negative people” and found it. It was very insightful. 

I have or had a friend who always called me to check up on my achievements only to criticize me and tell me that the course I was taking was not going to be helpful in my career. I wish I had never met him. I have been living under his criticism since I met him and as a consequence I have been stalled in my science career and have not been able to move forward. He left to San Francisco and I am so glad this happened. I stopped talking to him and it feels great. I never answer his calls anymore and erased him from my instant messaging program. I hope he gets it that I don’t want him in my life anymore. Get rid of all those negative people.

I agree with this article.  But, what I haven’t been able to understand is how do you save yourself from negative people when the negative people in your life are your own family?  It can’t be that cut and dry, or black and white.  If I gave them up, it means I don’t have a family anymore.  But, if I keep my family, then I have this group of negative people draging me down, and stopping my own happiness and progress.  I don’t want to sound negative, but I wish there was a good compromize.

There is a way to compromise with negative people.  You don’t actually have to “get rid of them”, if you choose not to; or “cut them completely off”.  What you really have to do is set boundries with them.  One of the reasons people will drag you down is because you have always allowed them to.  You can limit amount of time spent with them, and set boundries.  Just simply state, “Gee, you know, when you say things like that, it really is upsetting”.  They will either get the message or not; even aging parents, brothers and sisters.  Life is too short.  Put some distance.  Try to state how you really like being around more positive people (and positive behavior).  If they don’t get it, oh well.  Life is short.  Find something that makes you happy to replace all the negative time spent with them.  I finally get it, and its working for me!

Hello, I have a friend I decided to keep my distance from for a while because I’m not sure what happened but she became really negative and cynical and we drifted apart because I really felt I couldn’t be around her because at the time I was feeling down and what could be worse at that time than being around someone who was always negative. The thing is we were so close before and I’d still like to be friends with her, I know I hurt her for making that choice but I’m not sure what to do. We also have a lot of mutual friends which makes it even more difficult. Anyone have any advice?

The first thing you can do is stop thinking about how others feel when you make your choices. A negative person will give you nothing but stress and useless thoughts and you are making your quality of life better by ridding yourself of them. If you can’t (or don’t want to) avoid them, you can simply tune out when the negative crap starts coming out. In any case, if you have distanced yourself from someone for awhile, you will see that they will show you a lot more respect when they meet you again. This is because your being away tells them that they or their views don’t affect you in any way and that their presence or absence does not make a big difference to you. Remember, people will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.

There are 2 books by Dr. Wayne Dyer that have completely changed my attitude towards myself, others and life in general.
Pulling Your Own Strings and Your Erroneous Zones.

You have only one life, and you have to enjoy every moment of it. If someone is bothering you, you can either shut them up or shut them out.

And another thing you realize when you keep them away for awhile is that whether they’re around or not doesn’t matter much.

I made an entry on my blog about this a long time back : http://aditya-mehta.blogspot.com/2006/07/infinity-through-purification.html#links

I write only when I feel very strongly about something, so it might come across as a little harsh.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says it in a much better way:)

I totally agree with what this says and I appreciate it being said. In response to some of the comments:
You are always going to encounter negative people at one time or another. I think what this is trying to say is that some people think they need to put up with it. You don’t! You can kindly but effectively put someone in their place. Once people know that you cannot and will not be treated a certain way….they back off. I think more people need to stand up for themselves. I have had an unusual flood of negative people the past few weeks and it has really brought me down. I’m now lifting myself back up and it’s feeling great. I won’t allow it anymore!

When negative energy is absorbed, digest it and convert it into positive energy. How you might ask? Focus ... As negative energy accumulates, begin a reverse osmosis process so to speak. Humans are around 60% water which permits an electric current to flow easily. Determine the direction of energy flow in your body. How good is your ground? Are you a circular current or vertical? Either or you can dispose of your negative energy downwards towards to your feet into the ground.

Direct your new converted positive energy towards your hands ... Very lightly tap all your fingers together slowly expanding the distance as you tap your fingers together. If you concentrate, you’ll actually begin to see an energy field forming. Depending on your ability, you’ll begin to shape and stretch the energy field with your fingers. Worst case, your focus is now on your positive Energy at the tip of your fingers 8-)

Gravity explains the motions of the planets, but it cannot
explain who set the planets in motion. God governs all things and knows all that is or can be done.
(Mr. Sir Isaac Newton)

Again I agree.

I used to cry alot about it,but not anymore I developed and attutide that everyone always had another reason than just being nice,Maybe it wasent entirely right but it did spare my feelings and im much happier now in my new school,about to graduate and everything.

I totally agree with this.  I subscribe to Maya Angelou’s quote of “when people show you who they are the 1st time…believe them.”  I have met some people who entered my life thru work environments or thru associates.  These people were individuals that I would customarily NEVER have allowed into my life…but there are good qualities in just about every human being so at times I saw the good in them all and allowed that to have me let my gaurd down enough that these cancers entered my world and caused much emotional & mental trauma.  I have learned this lesson to many times and actually just learned it again this week.  This article has definitely been a lift.  It affirms my decision to cut a few others from my life who aren’t deserving of one second of my time.

I should also mention that self-doubt is brought on by no just other people, but by you’re self. It effects a persons spelling,consciousness,ect. I just noticed that. My first wave of a comment has grammer errors. lol.
anyways..I am leaving my email this time.
.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

I guess I’ve always known that I only “want” people around me that uplift me, but its one thing to “know” this and another to put it all into action. I feel guilty and sorry for friends or family that need me even though they’ve hurt me very deeply at times. I will be there for them at the drop of a hat for emotional stability and once they’re all filled up with the energy I’ve given them, I generally dont hear from them until its time again when they need consoling or advice. Of course I feel used but I always feel that “duty” to help even though I’ve been burned so many a time before.Maybe in hopes they’ll realize how much I care and how I yearn to have the love in return. I’m only hurting myself I guess because I’m letting them back in. Call it being “too” nice, “too” emotional, or maybe I just secretly want everyone to be happy all the time…....even if I’m not sometimes. It helped to type this and realize I’m the one who has to make a change. I have to stop the cycle of the negative users coming in and out of my life and begin to understand why we’re here.

We all have to remember that life is as good as we make it.