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Is It Really Necessary To Grow Up?

Written by Evan Bailyn on 06/20 at 11:48 AM

Children are urged to act like adults from the moment they are conscious enough to do household chores. Many people consider childhood to be an inferior version of adulthood, an awkward younger phase that culminates with “growing up.” In this view, childhood is merely a passing state, a transient period on the way to a finished product, like food cooking in an oven.

"He’s going to grow up to be such a nice young man” is a common grandmotherly phrase. The implication is that the boy in question is on his way to something that he hasn’t reached yet. But this kind of thinking, and even the phrase “young man” itself, discounts the fact that childhood is a unique, completely discrete state of being.

There is no physiological reason why children must become adults. The cerebral changes that take place in pre-adolescence do not automatically change kids into adults; they simply allow for a more advanced level of thinking. The real reason why children act like adults is because of pressure from society. A person out of school who does not immediately seek a job is harshly judged by his neighbors. A middle-aged man who lives with his mother is an outcast. Past a certain age, you simply aren’t “allowed” to be a child anymore.

If it weren’t for that pressure, if there was no such thing as social status, and everyone were happy with themselves, then children would never have to grow up. However, this theory is nearly impossible to implement, for status is a natural result of an inherently competitive society. The only way I can think of to circumvent society and avoid adulthood is to become a hermit. Of course, that would be a poor solution because much of what we enjoy about childhood is given to us by the same society that ultimately takes it away - ice cream trucks, kind kindergarten teachers, special attention.

In truth, there is no way to avoid acting like an adult outside of the most extreme scenarios (uber-wealth, living in the wild). However, nobody can control what happens in your mind. So if you can manage, as I believe I do, to partition your brain - one section for acting like an adult during the day and another for swinging on the swings, rollicking, laughing loudly, dribbling, whining, or whatever else you liked doing as a kid - then you can, in a manner of speaking, never grow up.

10 Comments

Posted by Noora on 06/28 at 04:20 PM

Hi!! grin
I hate when people act like they are superior either because they are older, or they think they act like they are older.  I think that people should still be children at heart.  Life is more fun that way!!
Have you ever read The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince)? I think the author would agree with a lot of what you say about childhood. The author says that grown ups are too concerned with numbers and facts, while children are more imaginative, which is better. I think that this is true too.

Posted by Nora (with one " o") on 07/10 at 11:01 AM

We all grow up, meaning new hormones and other physical changes that for instance makes it possible to think in a more advanced level. Family, friendships with people of your age and on the workfloor also requires these adult skills. Despite of what our parents and others tell us what we should be like when we grow up, despite of what society demands from you: when your heart is a child, you are one.
Its simply a matter of knowing and feeling to be a child, accepting all the psychiatric conclutions along with it, conclude you wanna be a peter pan and find a way to do it.
And one must be willing to accept the concequences of doing so. Because there will allways be people around you thinking youre a freak… Being emotionally sensitive (being a kid..it figures) doesnt help, but staying true to yourself and believe in your inner child does.
Now what would be a good next step?
1: to come out with peter pan syndrome, try to explain it, hoping to be understood.. or
2: dont tell (only tell family and friends) and try to blend in?
wink
Nora Gem

Posted by Cynthia on 08/20 at 03:46 PM

LOL.I hate those hormones.And I hate it when everybody has rules(by everybody I mean adults).Like my parents come down,then spring a conversation out of nowhere,I ask them what their talking about,and....they blow me off!

Posted by Wendy on 11/12 at 01:30 AM

Yes, my real name is Wendy and I am 55, named in a time when there were hardly any Wendy’s.  It became popular in the 60’s.  And I am a child at heart. I am a recently retired elem teacher and fit in much better with children than adults.  I love your site and will be back.  I have a personality a lot like Robin Williams, you know, the guy who played Hook ? :_) And I love Disney.

Posted by Choc on 03/18 at 02:13 AM

I’m 30 now, and i don’t know when i’ll grow up, or if i’ll ever be a grownup. Don’t get me wrong, i have a secure job, a mortgage, act like any responsible adult, dragged into the office politics & play along, been in messy relationships & has survived.

However i see all these as a camouflage, it’s not myself. It’s just the little *real* me playing an adult game. Ironically in doing this & blending with the society i often see how childish the so called adults are sometimes. They’re no more mature than average kids, but they’re just wrapped with a more sophisticated (and sometimes vicious) giftpaper.

I know i prefer a good game of hide and seek anytime rather than a politic/household conversation. And just like ms Wendy, i too feel like i fit in better with children, their non pretentious way of expressing their feeling, their natural, carefree attitudes & their love of games.

In family gatherings or parties, i’m always the one walking around with children tugging on me. Comments like “You’ll make a good mother “ is often heard. But the thought itself freaked me out, a child raising a child?

Posted by Serge on 08/06 at 06:54 PM

Evan,

I resonate with alot of what you’re saying...They always say stuff like that to me, about this “Real world” (The land of Giants) that i’m supposed to live in.  I am on the Autistic spectrum, but I have a thoery that Peter Pan “Syndrome” (They have to give it some medical term so they can judge people, as they always do, calling themselves “Mature") is close to ASD.  Please do write back, my E-mail is and I also have MSN, () I"d love to voicechat with you, you’re so right on so much

Peace and blessings

Posted by Kari on 08/19 at 11:41 AM

I agree it is NOT Necessary to “Grow up”

I just turned 19 in July,so I am considered an adult by standards and it is good to have an id (Get in to rated r movies what have you)

But I havent grown up in the slightest

I may not be 55 like some people who comment on your page but I still watch all the old cartoons and such.

But im rambleing to much, short and simple Growing up is over rated and I agree with you.

Posted by Christopher on 08/30 at 03:26 PM

I have to disagree with you...acting like a child might benefit you, that’s true, but it’s the problem of the commons: if everyone acted like a child, our society would cease to function because of the people without jobs and lack of maturity to deal with problems. I can’t really see the joy of being a child all that much.

Posted by Serge on 08/30 at 06:42 PM

I have a questino for you—Why doese it NEED to function? smile try that, mate

Posted by veronica on 09/02 at 07:44 PM

in regards to “christopher” you are the reason why are society is so screwed up. “if everyone this, if everyone that..” if everyone made a phone call at the exact same time, the phone lines would bust. should we not use phones. whAT exactly is so great about “maturity” where has that gotten us? our those of us who choose to conform to society’s expectations and definition of maturity really all that better off? what our society deems as “mature” is truly an expression of self-centered behavior that, irronically is more destructive to ourselves than “childish” behavior.

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